


i can tell that we are gonna be friends

by Marshmellow (orphan_account), sirrylot



Series: as we stumble along. [1]
Category: Band of Brothers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, Growing Up, KidsVerse, M/M, they're KIDS
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-09-21
Updated: 2015-02-13
Packaged: 2017-11-14 06:33:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 21,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/512352
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Marshmellow, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sirrylot/pseuds/sirrylot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <em>Toccoa Lane was located in a small town just north of Rutherford, New Jersey. It was a rather long street, backing up to Currahee Park. The houses were large enough and well built, the neighborhood itself being fairly new to the town’s history. A different sort of history was waiting to be made there.<em></em></em>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Snapshots from growing up on Toccoa Lane.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. a lot like agony

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Babe really just wants to be friends with the coolest kid on the block, really.

Babe was seven years old and a klutz. It wasn’t that he purposefully got hurt, at least not usually, but it was mostly that he just couldn’t move his feet the way he wanted to. He would fumble, and fall, and cry until he got a nice sized bandage to patch up the ‘warrior wounds’, as his mother called them.

Somewhere around the time they moved onto Toccoa Lane, Babe began to show up at home with colorful bandages riddled all over his little body. When his mother asked where they came from, Babe simply answered “Gene is a doctor!”. She figured that maybe they were just playing doctor, like kids often do.

It started when he found out the secret to getting Eugene Roe’s attention. The boy lived four houses down, and Babe became somewhat enamored with him. He was a year older, _a second grader!_ , and had black hair that seemed to have a mind of its own. Babe loved to mess with it, much to Gene’s dismay. Gene was gentle, and was a future doctor. It wasn’t even in question. He was dead set on becoming a doctor and saving the world. 

In Babe’s mind, Gene could do absolutely anything. He was practically a superhero, if he’d ever agree to join the boys for their weekly rounds of the game “Superhero”. Instead, he opted to stay behind and talk with Renee LeMaire, the only other girl besides Kitty who lived on their street. It’s not that Babe was jealous of Renee or anything, it’s just that he wanted to be friends with Gene too. So, maybe he wasn’t a future doctor or whatever, but they could still be friends right?

He realized one Friday afternoon, walking home from school with the boys, when he discovered the key to getting little Gene’s attention: injuring himself. 

He decided that everyone was being _boring_. Joe and David were lingering in the back of the group, swinging their hands together between them rather roughly. They were fighting over who was better at math, shooting back mathematical equations and trying to stump the other. Since they both were in the same class and neither of them was particularly brilliant at math, they were at a stalemate. 

“What’s six divided by three?” David asked, proud that he knew the answer already. 

“Two! Ha!” Joe pinched David’s nose. David gave out a small cry and poked Joe’s stomach. 

“Why are we even holding hands? This is dumb.” Joe looked at their joined hands.

“That’s what boyfriends _do_ , Joey. I asked Mommy and she knows _everything_.”

“She can’t know _everything_ -”

Babe didn’t feel like staying around to see the rest of that fight play out. 

“Gene-” He ran to the front of the group where Renee and Gene were in deep conversation, most likely about some stupid medical gumbo that Babe would never understand. But Renee gets to talk to Gene all the time. Didn’t she learn that ‘sharing is caring’? “Hey, Gene-”

Gene turned slightly, only to say, “Not now, Edward, I’m in the middle of a conversation.”

 _Edward_. Gene always called him _Edward_ , as if it made him seem more mature. _Edward_ was what the ‘grown-ups’ called him. Gene wasn’t that much older than him, and he definitely wasn’t a _grown-up_.

“My name is _Babe_.” Babe huffed. This was ridiculous. He was almost positive Gene and Renee had begun to walk faster, so he sped up his stride as well. “ _Gene_ -”

“So what kind of bandages are best for just scrapes?”

“Well, you want to use a patch, never pile on the skinny ones-”

It was then that Babe tripped on an uneven crack in the sidewalk and landed horribly on his right arm. A sickening crack was could be heard by those who weren’t too into their conversations, but Gene and Renee didn’t seem to notice.

“OOOOWWW!” Babe howled. He tried to get up, but that was the exact wrong thing to do. Pain shot up his arm and he cried harder. Everyone stopped in their tracks and turned to look at where Babe was lying on the sidewalk, cradling his arm. His face was red and wet, and he was sobbing by this point. “It hurts!” 

“GENE-Y! RENEE!” Everyone began to call. They turned from where they were half-way down the street, and immediately began to run back. 

“Edward, what happened?” Gene asked, kneeling besides Babe. Much to everyone’s surprise, Babe just glared angrily at Gene.

“My name is _Babe_.” He said angrily. “And I was jus’ tryin’ to talk to you! And you keep ignoring me because you’re _stupid_!” 

The boys gasped. Renee ignored the situation and focused on the important things. She pulled out the emergency phone her parents gave her, glad she could use it for once. She called the Heffrons, explaining what happened and that they should get here immediately. She read off the street name and sat beside Babe, trying to talk him through it to no avail.

“Your parents will be here soon, it’ll be okay-” Renee was gentle; she was _always_ gentle. Babe didn’t want gentle. He just wanted to go home. 

“No! You’re stupid too! I want to go home!” He sniffled. 

“Babe, you’re being mean.” Buck said simply from the back of the group. “Renee isn’t stupid. She’s the smartest ever! She has to be because she’s a _fifth grader_!”

Babe couldn’t really argue with that logic so he just muttered an apology, but refused to look at Gene or Renee.

“Edward-”

“MY NAME IS _BABE_!” He screamed. 

Everyone fell silent. No one had ever seen Babe this upset before. No one was sure what to do about it. Renee just continuously pet his head until a familiar red car pulled up besides the group of boys. Mrs. Heffron turned off the car and jumped out in a rush and knelt by her son. 

“Babe, are you okay, honey? Here, get in the car we’re taking you to the hospital.” She carefully helped Babe stand and turned to Renee before rushing off. “Thank you so much, Renee.” 

And just like that Babe was out of sight and the boys solemnly began the rest of their trek home. 

 

Gene was in a slight state of shock over the events that just unfolded. He’d never been yelled at by anyone before, and was certainly never deemed ‘stupid’. For Babe to be the first one to do either of these things...well, Gene admitted it hurt. 

His mother noticed his saddened state just as soon as he walked through the door. He sighed heavily, dropped his backpack by the door, and took a seat on the barstools in the kitchen. Eleanor was just cleaning up the kitchen, enjoying her rare day off of work, when she heard him amble in. 

“One glass of milk, please.” Gene put his elbows on the bar and rested his head on his hands. “Two squirts of chocolate syrup.” 

“You drinkin’ your sorrows away, _cher_?” Eleanor smiled. Gene was one of the quietest of her three kids, but when he was upset it was rather obvious. 

“Edward yelled at me today.” 

Eleanor was genuinely taken aback by this. Babe always adored Gene, had since they met. Of all the children on the street, she figured that Joe would be the most likely to yell at her Gene. Babe wasn’t exactly quiet mannered, but he wasn’t mean in the slightest. 

“Oh, Gene.” Eleanor slid the glass of chocolate milk towards him. He caught it in his hand with ease. “Tell me what happened.” 

“Well, I was talking to Renee because she’s really cool and knows a lot of stuff about doctors ‘cos her Papa is a doctor. And Edward came up and was sayin’ my name but I was talkin’ to Renee, so I was nice and said so but he just got mad cos I called him Edward and kept tryn’a talk to me but I was a meanie and I ignored him beacuse I was talkin’ to Renee and then he broked his arm. And then I was tryn’a help him and make sure he was okay, but then he just yelled at me worse cos I called him Edward again.” Gene took in a deep breath. “I don’t want Edward to be mad at me, Mama.”

“Well, honey, sounds like you’ve got quite a dilemma.” Eleanor smiled again, amusement in her eyes at the simple problems of young children. “I think first of all, you should start callin’ Babe by Babe. He sure doesn’t seen to like it when anyone calls him Edward.” 

“But _everyone_ calls him Babe! I don’t want him to think I’m just like everyone else!”

“Why not?” 

“‘Cos I want him to be like my bestest friend...and bestest friends have to have special names for each other.”

Eleanor ran her hands through Gene’s hair gently. “Oh, that’s not true. You can be best friends without having to call each other special names.”

Gene looked solemnly into his glass. “Well, not anymore. I don’t think he likes me very much. Everyone says its my fault his arm is brokened.” 

“He’ll alway like you, Gene, no matter what.”

He took a long swig of milk and then looked hopefully at his mother. “You think so?”

“Why don’t you go over and talk to him when he gets back from getting a cast on, huh? I’m sure he’d love some company.”

Gene considered this for a moment. Then, he perked up. “I could bring some bandages for extra protection!” 

“Sure!” Eleanor laughed. “You go do your homework now. I’ve got to finish cleaning up Margaux’s mess in the playroom. God bless her soul, she’s like a five year old hurricane.” 

Gene jumped off of the stool and grabbed his homework, intent on trying to pass time quickly until Babe got home. 

 

Gene had drifted off to sleep around eight o’clock, the weight of the days events tiring him out. He was awoken by his mother around nine thirty. 

“Mrs. Heffron just called, Gene. Babe’s home. You want to visit?” She whispered. Gene woke slowly, rubbing his eyes and yawning. He nodded enthusiastically. 

“Is he okay?” 

“He’s fine.” Eleanor assured, picking up Gene so he wouldn’t stumble around the halls. 

“Wait, Mama! I need my band-aids!” He reached down for the first-aid kit lying on his dresser. Eleanor picked it up with her other hand, feeling quite like a power mother at that point. 

“Be quiet, now. Daddy’s sleepin’ and he has to get up to work tomorrow.”

“Are we gon’ have a nanny again? Can’t Kitty and Harry just babysit?”

Eleanor laughed. “They can’t babysit _all_ the time.”

“Can’t we just spend the day at the Heffrons? Edward’s mama is always home!” Gene insisted. He didn’t really like the nanny his mother always had on call for when both she and Oliver were working. She was old, and smelled like moldy cardboard. 

“We’ll see, cher. Right now, let’s go check up on Babe, huh?” 

Gene nodded, burying his face into his mother’s shoulder. 

The walk down was fairly short, seeing as it was just four houses down. Gene grew antsy waiting for the door to open, and his mother let him down to stand. He shuffled back and forth on his feet, trying to calm his nerves. 

“Babe, look who’s here!” Jenna Heffron exclaimed. Babe was hiding behind his mother’s legs. 

“Can I see your cast?” Gene asked, peering in the door nervously. 

Babe’s hold on his mother’s legs tightened. “No.” 

“I have some band-aids and markers and I thought I could write you a message!” Gene kept his optimistic disposition up. Julian and Billy had already seemed to have written their names. They were written incredibly large, as if they were telling everyone that Babe was their best friend and no one else could have him.  _Especially boys named Gene._ Gene thought morosely. 

“I don’t want you to write a message. You’re gonna write somethin’ mean!”

Jenna and Eleanor exchanged glances, almost knowing between them that if they didn’t step in this could turn nasty fast. 

“Sweetie, why don’t you take Gene to your room? I’ll make you two some cocoa.” Jenna said, peeling his small hands from her legs. He frowned, studying his green cast carefully. 

“Fine. But you can’t touch anything and you can’t sit down.” Babe narrowed his eyes at Gene, who was standing wide-eyed and frightened in the doorway. 

“Okay...” Gene peered up at his mother, almost asking for help but not quite needing it. Eleanor urged him forward. He followed Babe warily up the stairs as the mothers made their way to the kitchen. 

Babe closed the door and sat on his dark blue bedsheets. “They said it was a hairline frac-a-ture.” He sighed seriously. “They said I was lucky.”

“I’m sorry, Edward!”

Babe glared at Gene. “My name. Is. _Babe_.” 

A tense silence followed, making Gene highly regret most of the decisions he made that day. 

Babe began to play around with his toy cars, every once in a while glaring up at Gene who was still standing by the door way, clutching his med-kit.  

“Owie!” He cried suddenly, grabbing the hand on his non-broken arm. 

“What’s wrong?” Gene stepped forward. 

“I pinched my finger on the car!” He cried out. He held his hand out to Gene. “Fix it, Gene!” 

Gene rushed forward grabbing Babe’s hand. It wasn’t that bad, a little bit of blood but that was it. He pulled out a large roll of bandage that Renee had given him earlier that week. Staring at it curiously, he briefly wondered if it was the right tool to use. But he decided that it didn’t matter; Babe needed his help and any bandage would do.

“Ow, not so tight!” 

“Sorry, Babe...just hold on, I’m almost done.” 

Babe froze, looking at Gene carefully, as if analyzing him. Then, his face broke out in a wide smile. “You called me ‘Babe’!” 

Gene finished wrapping Babe’s finger messily, using some Scotch tape to keep it there. “Well, it’s your name, isn’t it?”

“You never called me Babe before.” Babe looked at his finger. “Hey! This means we can be best friends, right?”

“I thought we were always best friends?”

Babe considered this for a moment. “Well, yeah, but now it’s official!”

Gene smiled a mile wide.

Just then, Jenna and Eleanor entered bearing cocoa and cookies. 

“Is everything alright in here?” Eleanor asked, noting the open med-kit on Babe’s bed. 

“It’s okay now, Mrs. Roe. Gene-y and I are best friends, we’ve decided. I have a lot of best friends, don't I?” Babe said seriously. 

Jenna and Eleanor exchanged knowing glances. Jenna patted Babe’s hair. 

“We’re so happy for you two. Now, you finish up that cocoa and then Gene’s gotta go on home, okay?” 

“Can’t Gene-y stay the night, Mommy? Georgie is always having sleepovers and I never get to have sleepovers.” Babe pouted.

“Well...”

“ _Please_?” Gene and Babe said in unison. 

“Well, I can’t argue to that. As long as Mrs. Roe agrees, alright?” 

The boys turned their eyes to Eleanor. “I’ll bring by some extra clothes and a sleeping bag, okay?”

Babe and Gene cheered. As Eleanor and Jenna left them alone, Babe was going on and on about some television show they just had to watch tonight and all the games they should play that were fun even though they weren’t doctor games. Gene assured him that he liked games even if they weren’t medical. 

Later, when it was well past one in the morning, Jenna turned off the light in the game room downstairs and smiled at the boys who were sleeping soundly, collapsed on top of each other. She left them to their peace and decided to talk to Babe later about drooling on your friends. 


	2. something like sweethearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Joseph Liebgott got his first kiss when he was seven years old on a swing set in Currahee Park. ___

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this is the first little diddy and of course it's riddled with gooeyness and Webgott fun times.

Joseph Liebgott got his first kiss when he was seven years old on a swing set in Currahee Park. It wasn’t passionate, as most children’s kisses rarely were, but that didn’t mean it was meaningless. 

Kitty Grogan and Harry Welsh were babysitting like they always did for the boys on Toccoa Lane when most of the parents were at work. The kids who had stay-at-home mothers, like Babe and Carwood, or parents with flexible jobs, like Lew and Joe, tagged along anyway. Kitty and Harry insisted they didn’t mind. They were just fourteen, planning to start high school in the fall, but the boys viewed them almost as gods. 

The boys’ ages ranged from seven to nine that summer. Had they been any other group of kids they would’ve been too much to handle. But they weren’t just any boys, they were Toccoa Lane boys and somehow that meant something different. 

The day Joe was first kissed, it was sunny and hot in the dead middle July. Kitty and Harry agreed that a day at the park sounded like a grand idea, and perhaps some ice cream after didn’t sound all that bad. 

Joe _really_ didn’t like being at the park. It wasn’t that he hated parks in general, because they were very fun usually. But today, he was grumpy and didn’t feel like socializing with the other boys. David was being a poo-head and ignoring him again, and it’s not like he did anything wrong! David’s just a cry-baby. But whenever Joe tells him that, he gets all mad. Joe was just trying to be honest. His Mama said “honesty was the best policy”. Joe was beginning to wonder if there were exceptions to that rule.

He kicked the dirt angrily, glancing to where David was sitting against a tree reading _Harry Potter_. 

 _Harry Potter is dumb. Books are dumb._ Joe thought as he sniffled, trying to swallow his seven-year-old pride. 

Kitty noticed Joe sitting alone on the swings while the other boys organized a kickball game. One never approached Joe Liebgott without caution, or so they had learned over the past few months. Kitty sat on the swing next to Joe, swinging gently back and forth. 

“What’s wrong, Joey?” 

“Don’t call me that.” He grumbled. “Joey makes me sound like a baby. I’m not a baby, I’m _seven_.”

“Oh, right.” Kitty smiled. “So, what’s wrong?”

Joe looked to David again. “Nothing.” 

Kitty wasn’t oblivious. She followed his gaze, smile falling from her face. _Not another Davey-Joe fight. I can only handle so many a week._

Joe and David were notorious for bickering at each other often. Usually, it ended up with a truce and agreement to play cars together the next day. Sometimes, they lasted longer and were a bit more brutal. Kitty really didn’t want to deal with that. 

“Did you and Davey get into a fight?” 

“No!” Joe kicked at the dirt again, twisting his swing around angrily. “He’s just stupid.”

“That’s not very nice to say about your friends.”

“He is! He doesn’t even want to talk to me! He’d rather read his stupid book!” Joe sniffled again.

“Joey, if you want to talk to him, why don’t you just say so?”

Joe looked at David again, before looking down at his shoes. “Because.”

Kitty nodded once before sighing. She knew exactly what she had to do. She got up from the swing, making her way to where David sat, completely intrigued in his book. She took a seat next to him, carefully tearing his book from him and ignoring his pleas to stop. 

“Hey, so, see Joey over there?” She pointed to where Joe was still swinging back and forth.

“Yeah, can I have my book back now?” He whined.

“Not until you go talk to him.”

“Why?” 

“Well, he thinks you don’t like him.”

David looked completely offended by this statement. He crinkled his nose. Of course he liked Joe, why would that even be in question? “Well, he’s just being dumb. Can I have my book back?”

“Not until you go show him you like him.”

“Show him?” He crinkled his nose again. “Are you sure?”

“Yep.” Kitty knew that the sooner Joe stopped moping around, the sooner everyone could play happily and she’d have a lot less work on her hands. 

David looked at her dubiously, but stood and brushed off his shorts. “Alright,” he huffed. “If you say so...”

Joe watched David approach wearily. Before he knew what was happening, David was kissing him. 

It was short, only a few seconds before Joe pulled back, but it was a definite kiss. From her spot by the tree, Kitty made an admittedly unattractive squawking noise. Joe crinkled his nose at David in mock-disgust. Why was David kissing him? Joe’s seen his Mama and Papa kiss, but that’s only because they were married. David couldn’t kiss him! They weren’t even married!

“What’d you do that for?!” He shouted.

“Kitty said you thought I didn’t like you, but I wanted my book back and she said I couldn’t get it back until I showed you I liked you!” David yelled back. “And Mommy said the best way to show you like someone is to kiss them!”

“But we can’t kiss because we aren’t married!”

“Kitty and Harry kiss and they aren’t married!”

“But we’re boys!”

“So? I still like you, even though you’re a boy!”

“Fine! I like you too!” 

“Fine! I’m going to go read now.” 

“Fine!” 

David stomped away, picking his book up forcefully from Kitty’s stunned hands as he settled back into his spot by the tree. 

“I gotta tell Harry.” She muttered to herself as she pushed herself off the ground and jogged to the baseball field. 

 

One week later, Kitty and Harry were babysitting again for Joe, David, Skip, Buck, and Georgie whose parents had gone out for various reasons ranging from date night to charity auctions that aren’t very kid friendly. 

They decided the Websters would be a good place for them all to collaborate, being that it was the largest on the block next to the Nixons and it was always stocked with food. In fact, when Harry and Kitty did group babysitting, it was usually at the Websters. They were often out raising money or meeting “important people”, as they regretted to say. It wasn’t that they were pretentious, they were just rather affluent. 

That night, Georgie and Buck were playing Mario Kart on David’s Wii while Skip enthusiastically cheered both of them on. Georgie looked at him in annoyance every once in a while, but Buck laughed along. Kitty and Harry both agreed that Buck was one of the most agreeable and charming of the children that lived on Toccoa. It wasn’t that the others were repulsive, it’s just that something about little eight year old Buck made even Satan coo. 

David and Joe were in David’s room, which worried Harry because they could be doing any number of inappropriate things. He was more afraid that they would be hurting each other. Kitty assured him they were fine. 

In fact, David and Joe weren’t harming each other at all. David was, once again, attempting to read the third _Harry Potter_ book, but Joe was relentlessly poking him in the arm. Every once in a while, he stole a glance around the room at all the shark posters and books on the shelves. With his other hand, he played with the sheets with little sharks scattered on the print. 

“Joey, stop poking me!” David whined, pushing the offending hand away. 

“I don’t want to!” He only poked harder. 

“Ow! That hurts! You’re gonna bruise me!”

“Well, you’re always reading and you never talk to me.” Joe punched his leg, much to David’s dismay. 

“Stop hitting me!”

“Talk to me!”

David sighed with as much exasperation as an eight year old could muster, but closed his book anyway. “About _what_?”

Joe looked around the room and said, “If I was a shark, would you like me more?”

David rolled his eyes. “I like you anyway.” 

“But would you like me _more_?” Joe insisted.

“ _We-ell._..” David said thoughtfully. “Sharks are pretty cool...but you’re pretty cool too.”

“Well, you _should_ think I’m cool, since I’m your boyfriend and all.” 

“Boyfriends? I’m not your boyfriend!”

“Yes, you are!” 

“No, I’m not!”

“Yes, you are because Harry told me so!” Joe said snootily. He loved knowing things David didn’t because David knew _everything_. 

“When did he say that?” 

“I asked him how come he called him and Kitty ‘boyfriend and girlfriend’ and he said that it’s cos he thinks Kitty is cute and funny and good to talk to and they’re the bestest friends. And, well, I think _you’re_ cute and funny and good to talk to and _we’re_ the bestest friends so that makes us boyfriends doesn’t it?” Joe worried that maybe David didn’t think the same things about him. 

“Well, I guess so. But you didn’t ask me! Mommy always says that if I don’t ask a girl to be my girlfriend straight out, it doesn’t count. I guess the rules are just different for boys.” David wrinkled his nose as if these matters concerned him deeply. 

“Davey, will you be my boyfriend because you’re cute and funny and good to talk to and you’re my bestest friend and I like you?” Joe said hurriedly. He wanted to get this over with so they could go kick Skip and Buck off of Mario Kart and dominate. 

David considered the proposal for a moment. “Well, I guess. Since we’re already like boyfriends anyway. Does that mean we have to be kissy all the time like Harry and Kitty?” He looked slightly put off by such a suggestion.

“Not really. Kissing is for dummies anyway, and we’re not dummies. Come on, let’s go take over Mario Kart.”


	3. down like the dog days

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lewis Nixon is fourteen years old and he's sort of terrified. 
> 
> Things are not so hot at the Nixon household, but it'll be okay.
> 
> (warning for brief mention of depression)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AFTER TWO YEARS (WOW!) of not updating, here we go!!! Another snapshot!! Yay! *crowd cheers* *camera pans out to see there is one person in the crowd*
> 
> I haven't written in a while, but I found all my old unfinished KidsVerse fics and I love these boys. I have plenty of ideas so strap in.
> 
> Ages of the boys in this chapter:  
> Dick - 15  
> Lew, Buck, Gene, Lip, Luz, Speirs - 14  
> Babe, Web, Lieb, Malarkey, Skip, Guarnere -13

Lewis steals a pack of Marlboro cigarettes off of his old man’s nightstand when he’s fourteen years old. There’s about five cigs left, but Lewis doesn’t really plan on being gone that long. He just wants to escape his house for a little bit, and it’s summer so he doesn’t have the distraction of school. So, he takes the cigs, a pack of matches in the junk drawer, and a few dollars he finds in his mom’s purse and makes to get the hell out. His mother is crying on the couch when he shuts the door behind him.

At times like these, he regrets that their street was notoriously friendly. He can see as soon as he hits the bottom of his porch stairs that Skip and Bill are trying to round up a bunch of the kids to play a game of kickball at the end of the street. Of all the things on Lewis’s list of things he wants to do, kickball is right below talking to people. He wants to silently brood because he’s a hormonal pre-pubescent boy and this is the only time in his life he’ll be able to brood without responsibilities.

He hears Buck call his name, but pretends like he doesn’t (even though Buck is like a booming ray of sunshine and ignoring him is virtually impossible). He’ll deal with the aftermath of that later, but ah well.

Without looking to see which of the other boys are outside (and desperately hoping Dick is not one of them), Lew heads left to get off Toccoa Lane and find some peace and quiet behind the old food market. It’s his favorite safezone, as nobody really shops at Dike’s Market anymore, what with the bigger and better grocery stores cropping up all around town. 

Dike’s is about a block and a half away. By the time Lew gets to his bench behind the shop, he’s sweating enough to want a drink, so he goes in and basks in the glory of air conditioning during the dog days of summer. It lasts about fifteen seconds before he goes back to being pissed off at the world. Such is adolescence.

He’s making the stressful choice between Sprite and Sierra Mist when he hears a familiar voice.

“Mom, did you want margarine or butter?”

Lewis doesn’t wait to hear Mrs. Winters answer because he grabs the Sierra Mist and makes for the check-out lane. What are the chances, are you kidding me...

“Well, hey, Lewis! It’s been a while since-” Lewis isn’t in the mood for Dike’s small talk.

“Yeah, I know, I’ve missed you, too, uh, here’s three dollars! Keep the change, gotta go, bye!”

There was a lie in there, really, because Lewis didn’t actually miss the store manager at all. Dike was god awful at his job. Throwing money at him saved Lewis the trouble of standing there for twenty minutes waiting for Dike to count out change. And if it meant that he also got the hell out of that store before Dick spotted him, well, win-win.

It’s not that Lewis was actively avoiding Dick. It’s just that, well...Dick was really good at being a friend. And Lewis didn’t want a friend right now. He wanted to punch things and throw rocks at things and Dick would calm him down, but Lewis doesn’t want to be calm. He likes being angry sometimes, dammit. One of Dick’s biggest flaws was always not having any.

So he slips out and runs to his bench and pretends like he’s a subtle, stealthy guy. (He’s not, Dick saw and heard him leave, but he knows not to push).

Lew slips a cigarette between his lips and lets it hang for a second before he lights it. The match takes a few tries to catch, and he talks himself out of kicking the wall. He’d rather not have a cast on for the rest of the summer.

He’s not yet used to the heavy weight of smoke in his lungs, so it takes a few puffs before he can breathe it in without coughing. If he hocks a few loogies, well, it gives him something to do, so he really can’t complain.

Part of him wishes he’d remembered to bring his phone, but the peace of not having to communicate right now is nice.

He wonders when he became the grump of the group. He takes a long drink.

Clouds start to cover the sun not long later, and although a summer rainstorm isn’t the worst, Lewis isn’t fond of being unnecessarily wet. Lewis isn’t fond of a lot of things, actually, but being wet makes him annoyed. Plus, if he ruins the rest of his pops’ matches, he’ll never hear the end of it.

Lew might hate the rain, but the rest of the boys sure don’t. If anything, they got more excited about their kickball game since Lew left. They, unfortunately, made the mistake of putting Joe and Web on different teams, so Lew could hear them yelling at each other from his house. It wasn’t even really angry yelling, just a slew of insults and empty smack talk.

“Loser!”

“Assface!"

“My team’s gonna annihilate your team so hard-”

“Do you even know what annihilate means, Joe?”

“Oh, screw you!”

Lew stopped listening after that. But once he entered his house, he wished he hadn’t.  Apparently, his pops was home. He should’ve checked for the car and ran. Idiot.

The Nixons were not bad parents. They just had far bigger things to worry about than their grumpy teenage kid. Pops being home meant having to explain things that his mother wouldn’t care about. Not that his mother seemed to care about anything Lewis did...

Lew sat against the wall just outside the living room.

“Come on, Dana, you gotta work with me here.”

“No.”

“I can’t leave you here with him again, you know that. God, I shouldn’t have left in the first place. Do you even know where he is?”

Silence.

Lewis would be lying if he said he wasn’t scared shitless.

“Okay, I’m taking you to the hospital.”

“No, please-”

There was the sound of weak struggling and then crying and Lew tried not to make a sound. He bit hard on his hand and made himself as small as possible. It was unnervingly silent for a long moment. He peered around the wall and wished he hadn’t. The room was a mess, and amidst the destruction, he could see his mother crying into his pops’ chest. He immediately retreated, his heart in his throat. _God, I’m a shitty kid_.

He heard movement from the living room, but he could hardly register it. There was a blur of hearing his pops tell him that everything would be okay, that he should probably find one of the boys to spend the night with.

“I’m sorry, Lew, I would never leave you alone if I could help it but…”

Lewis understood. Lewis got it. He nodded along to everything his pops said, and tried to pretend he hadn’t just left his mother alone in a state of distress to go brood and smoke and god he was only fourteen, how was he supposed to know how to handle this sort of shit?

The car started, the car left, and Lew was still shaking like a bitch in the foyer.

All he could think about was the cigs he took from his pops and the money he’d stolen from his mother’s purse.

 

\---

 

 **[From: bucky kentucky] 4:32pm**  
heeeey, nix…...teams are uneven because gene hadda go to his g-mas, wan 2 come out?

 **[From: bucky kentucky] 4:33pm  
** we know ur home!!!

 **[From: skip] 4:40pm**  
nixo, answer buck!!!

 **[From: sparky] 4:42pm  
** Hey, get your ass out here or I’m sending in a SWAT team

**[From: bucky kentucky] 4:45pm**  
you ok ????

**[From: sparky] 4:47pm**  
We saw your parents, are you okay? 

 **[From: luzzzz] 4:50pm**  
yo?? what’s going on??

 **[From: dickie d] 5:03pm**  
I’m coming over.

 

\---

 

Lew didn’t look at his crappy phone until about fifteen minutes after his parents left. He scanned through his messages, barely registering what they said. He felt awful, making all his friends worry, but he really did not want to talk about anything with them right now. He didn’t want to explain how he ran off while his mom was…

He didn’t want to explain why he was such a shitty kid.

He saw Dick’s text and felt like he was going to cry out of frustration. He didn’t want Dick to come over and give him those eyes and give him that face. So, Lew prepared to lock himself in his room and ignore the door.

What he completely forgot was that Dick had a key to his front door. _Dammit._

He curled into his comforter and ignored Dick shouting his name throughout the house. _Go away, go away, go away, go away._

“Lew? Come on, Lew…” Dick’s voice grew louder as he climbed the stairs. Lew pressed his hands to his ears. _Nope. Nope. Go away._

Dick jostled the bedroom door, both disappointed and relieved to find it locked. At least he knew Lew was inside and not wandering around the neighborhood. One step at a time.

Usually, if any of the boys had a problem, they went to Dick. He was calm, collected, and always knew how to handle a rough situation. He was honest, he knew how to listen, and he knew how to be proactive about any problem. But they were all so young and up until now, most of the issues Dick had handled were petty and easily fixable. This was different. Dick had never even needed to use the Nixons’ key before now.

“Lew, I…”

He couldn’t find anything to say that wouldn’t be completely cliche.

“We’re having a sleepover tonight.” Well, at least now they were. Dick pulled out his phone and typed out a text as he spoke. He knew Lew might avoid people when he’s seething, but Dick knew that being alone would be bad for him in the long run. “We want you there. In fact, if you don’t come out now, we’ll just all have a sleepover right here in your hallway.”

Lew sat up at that. He knew Dick wasn’t playing around. The last thing his pops needed was to come home from the hospital to a dozen boys sleeping in his hallway.

“So you can either come with me, or wait for all the guys to get here.”

As soon as he heard Lew shuffling around, he sent out a group message.

 **[To: GROUP] 5:23pm  
** Mandatory sleepover tonight, who can offer their house?

He’d wait to see the responses until after he was sure Nix was okay.

“What’s up, Dick?” Lew’s voice was painfully forced. Dick was okay with rolling with the punches on this one.

“Oh, nothing. Pretty boring day.” Dick not so subtly gave Lew a look over. He didn’t look horrible, but he looked worn out. He had his Pity Pants on (blue and white flannel pajamas with YALE in block letters on the left leg that he saved for days when he didn’t want to move) and a black t-shirt. Dick pretended not to notice the red rims of his eyes or the way his hair looked thoroughly tugged.

“Hah, yeah...me too.” Neither of them acknowledged the weak lie.

“So, you coming to the sleepover?”

“Do I have a choice?”

“Nope. You can even sleep in that, you gopher. Get your grandma slippers and let’s get a move on.”

Lew nodded, avoiding looking at Dick. He appreciated Dick’s efforts, but he hoped nobody would mind if he fell asleep as soon as the sleepover began.

“Who’s house we going to?”

Dick looked discreetly to his phone.

**[From: David Webster] 5:30pm  
** Mine! My mom said as long as we stay in the basement we’re good!

**[From: Babe Heffron] 5:30pm**  
TURN UP AT WEBBY’S

 **[From: Eugene Roe] 5:31pm**  
I’ll be little late but I’ll be there, sorry guys

 **[From: George Luz] 5:31pm**  
not 4given gene, this is the last straw

 **[From: Skip Muck] 5:32pm**  
boooo everyone gang up on gene

 **[From: Buck Compton] 5:33pm**  
leave the good man alooooone

 **[From: Bill Guarnere] 5:33pm**  
gene you are...in fact...a weenie

 **[From: Carwood Lipton] 5:34pm**  
My phone hates these group messages.

**[From: Carwood Lipton] 5:38pm**  
Ron will be there, but doesn’t want to seem like he cares so he wanted me to tell you.

Dick really loved his friends.

“We’re off to Web’s.”

 

\---

 

Lew really did plan on falling asleep as soon as he settled into Web’s basement. He could’ve gotten away with it too if Babe didn’t decide tonight was the night to celebrate their youth with a series of fun “party games”.

“Hey, Nix, you can’t fall asleep! It’s not even seven yet and we’re playing truth or dare.”

He looked to Dick desperately, hoping that Dick could get him out of this. Dick, who had made sure all the boys knew to act business as usual, just mouthed “don’t worry” in response. Lew grumbled, but accepted his fate.

“I call not going first.”

Babe and Bill cheered loudly. They corralled all the boys into a circle on the floor between the TV and the couch, insisting that Web and Joe sit as far away from each other as possible. When they protested, Luz shot them down.

“You’re either gonna bitch at each other or flirt the whole time and nobody wants either of those.”

Everyone settled down after that. Babe stood in the middle to begin.

“As the game master, I choose...Guarnere. Truth or dare?”

Guarnere ended up chugging a cocktail of Coca-Cola, Red Bull, milk, and pepperoncini juice before spending the next three turns throwing it up in the basement bathroom. Lip did an amusing shirtless dance to Step By Step on Web’s pool table, which just ended up with him gaining respect from everyone by juggling five of the billiard balls. After Mrs. Webster brought down the pizzas, Babe had to down one of the garlic sauce packages.

Eventually, some of the less idiotic boys chose truth.

“Ron, truth or dare?” Babe asked bravely.

“Truth.”

“Which of us would you want on your zombie apocalypse team?”

It was dead silent for a few moments.

“Lip, because he’s not an idiot and knows how to handle himself. Nix is laid back, but when he’s angry he is dangerous, so definitely him. He comes with Dick, so even if I didn’t want them both, I’ve gotta. And Buck because he’s good for morale.”

No one could argue with that. Not even Web could be offended that he wasn’t chosen.

“But...I’d never let any of you die in an apocalypse anyway, whether you’re on my squad or not.” Ron added. Everyone in the room aww’d loudly, much to Ron’s chagrin. “Alright, shut up, shut up. Joe, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Kiss, marry, kill-”

“Did you just make that PG? Ronald Speirs, did you just-”

“I’m watching out for the youngsters in the room, Luz. Heffron’s virgin ears can’t handle-”

“HEY! As a teenager-”

“You’re barely thirteen-”

“Just get on with it!” Guarnere and Skip yelled.

“Screw, marry, kill: Christenson from gym class, Assistant Principal Peacock, Vera Keller from a few streets over.”

Everyone was looking at Web to see how he’d react. He looked just as amused as they did.

“Kill AP Peacock, screw Christenson when Web breaks up with me for committing a capital crime, marry...nobody because I’ll be in jail for the rest of my life, lamenting over my lost love.” He sighed dramatically.

Everyone booed.

“Weaaak!”

“Truth or dare game weak, Liebgott!”

Web laughed the loudest. It surprised everyone, because Web had been kind of sensitive about laughing and smiling around people ever since he got his braces on. The rubber bands that stretched awkwardly in his mouth didn’t help at all. When everyone turned to look at him, he self-consciously clamped his hands over his mouth. “Nobody look at me!”

All in all, it was a good round of truth or dare.

Lew was bursting with happiness over his friends. He was continuously grateful that these dumbasses stayed with him. He wouldn’t give them up for anything, not even his…

Lew remembered where his mother was right now. Suddenly, he didn’t feel like laughing anymore.

“Hey, I’m, uh, going out for a quick smoke, be back in a minute.” All the guys knew about his draw to smoking. They didn’t like it, hell, most of them hated it, but they accepted it. Not that it mattered now. He didn’t have his cigs on him, but they didn’t have to know that. He quickly ran out the basement level porch, making sure to choose a spot to sit where they couldn’t see him from inside. He figured he had about five minutes before someone came looking for him.

It was a very inaccurate estimate. Thirty seconds later, Dick was out on the porch, too. He took his time sitting against the wall next to Lewis.

“Listen, I’m not expecting you to talk. I’m not here to make you talk. You just look like you need a hug and a friend. I think I’m pretty good at supplying both.”

Dick’s earnest smile and casual arm around his shoulders did him in. He cried into his hands, too ashamed to look his best friend in the eye. Dick had no idea how horrible Lewis was, there’s no way he’d be able to watch his face when the truth came out. It was too much.

“Hey, I’ve got you, Lew.” Dick was scared. He wouldn’t say it or show it, but he was terrified. No one teaches you how to handle your crying best friend. There’s no easy way to go about it. All he can do is make sure Lewis knows he’s not going anywhere. “You’re good. I’m not moving.”

Lewis wishes he could tell Dick to go back inside, but he couldn’t. He’s in too deep. He’ll allow himself one last indulgence before letting Dick go for good.

He ends up laying in the fetal position with his head on Dick’s lap, which could not have been comfortable for Dick. The concrete was hard beneath both of them, but neither of them were about to complain. Dick’s hands ran through Lew’s hair, and Lew couldn’t remember the last time he’d been so soothed.

“My mother’s been admitted to the hospital for...something. They never tell me what she has. It’s some sort of depression, I think. Pops said he can’t trust me with her. That’s what happened today. It happened after I went to smoke behind Dike’s. I took a few dollars from her wallet, too. She was crying when I left. I didn’t even react, I just kept walking. I took her money and walked out and then next thing you know, Pops is getting her into the car.” Lew bit his bottom lip. He stood up, needing to do something with himself. Dick followed. “And here I am. I didn’t even bother to…”

“You didn’t know, Lew.” Dick gathered him back into his arms and murmured into his hair. “It’s okay.”

Lew pulled away, hands raking angrily through his hair. “It’s not okay, it’s not-”

Dick gingerly took his shaking hands and replaced him with his gentler ones. “Look, your dad is taking care of her. She’ll get better with doctors helping her 24/7. She will be okay, and she won’t blame you.”

There was nothing Lew could say to that. Dick just seemed to sure about everything, no matter how scared he got. Feeling completely emotionally exhausted, Lew stepped forward into Dick’s space, accepting the silent offer of a hug.

“You’re gonna be fine, so’s your mom, so’s your dad.” Dick said. “I refuse to let you think otherwise.”

 

\---

 

There’s something to be said about the grace of the Toccoa boys. When they walk back in, no one questions the way Lew is sniffling slightly, the way he looks a little more worn than before, or the way Dick has just a few damp spots on his shirt. They all accept it and move forward, letting Lew’s languid smile speak volumes.

Joe and Web are sitting on the loveseat, Joe insisting earnestly that Web’s braces aren’t that bad, that actually they’re pretty cute. Web got all gross and misty eyed about it, and they ended up kissing in the most PG way possible. Lew wants to use the fact that Joe just used the word ‘cute’ as blackmail someday.

Gene had arrived, much to everyone’s joy. He’d blushed something mad when he explained that on the way home from his grandma’s house, a pretty girl from his gym class texted him and asked if he wanted to ‘go steady’ with her, and he said yes. Babe’s face noticeably dropped, but he continued pretending like he didn’t care. Lew felt bad for him. It had to suck being that infatuated with someone who treated you like a little brother (he ignored the voice telling him he knows how it feels, because dammit, he’s not in infatuated with Dick Winters, he swears it).

Guarnere and Skip were wrestling, Ron was staring murderously as Luz described a recent movie he’d seen, and Lew never felt more at home. Things were shit, but it would be okay. Dick squeezed his arm and smiled all pretty, and Lewis was sure of it.

(And if he falls a little bit in love with Dick, well, shit. He’ll make damn sure nobody knows about it.)

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! OKAY! Yes I did it! A chapter!!! Kind of!
> 
> Alright, if there's any age you want, pairing (listed in the tags pls sorry), or friendship you want explored, I'm so on it. There's another series that goes with this one that has to do with the Pacific boys, but that will be in a separate work so yeah...cool!
> 
> Thanks my buddies! Much love !


	4. morose like mondays

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ron has feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to finish a chapter I've already started, but then GleeGeneration23 gave me an idea (I'm sorry this is probably nothing close to what you were thinking)!  
> I loved writing this chapter!
> 
> THE PACIFIC BOYS MAKE APPEARANCES I'M SORRY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT THIS
> 
> I'm really trying to work on my writing style, so if chapters come slow after this, it's because I'm gonna start being hella more thorough in my editing. 
> 
> AGES FOR THOSE MENTIONED IN THIS CHAPTER:  
> Dick, Eddie, Andy: 17-18/senior  
> Lew, Ron, Luz, Lip, Leckie: 16-17/juniors  
> Web: 16/sophomore  
> Sid, Sledge, Snafu: 14-15/freshmen

Whoever gave George Luz the ability to text Ron made a huge mistake and had a shit storm coming their way.

It starts with a fucking rumor.

(At least, Ron swears it’s a rumor).

Lew told Guarnere, who told Babe, who told Muck, who told Luz that Ron wanted to get in Lip’s pants and since then, Ron hadn’t heard the end of it. He made it explicitly clear that if anyone even tried to bring it up, he would personally draw and quarter them. He almost succeeded in tying Lew to his front porch, but lucky for that bastard he has a redheaded guardian angel that Ron respects.

It was a complete accident that Lew even found out that Ron had feelings involving romance in general. Well, okay, it wasn’t really an accident and more of Ron being less discreet than he normally is. Apparently, Ron had a Lipton Face, whatever the fuck that meant. Lew pointed it out, and instead of being cool for once in his goddamn life, Web was all “oh my goshy gee, you see it too!”. Lew then proceeded to make up some elaborate story about how Ron thinks Lip is the most beautiful man in the world and he wants them to grow old together, and fuck, all that feelings shit that no seventeen year old boy wants to think about (except maybe Web and Sledge, but they’re hopeless romantic fucks who need to grow up).

The point is, George Luz needs to have his thumbs chopped off, or something equally horrific that ends in him not being able to use a cell phone.

Ever since word got about about “Sparky’s Sorrows” (a term Luz and Guarnere refuse to stop using, no matter how much Ron tries to make them), Luz has been texting him nonstop updates on Lip’s life.

 **[From: Luz] 10:02am**  
hes talking 2 stella

 **[From: Luz] 10:03am**  
u kno

 **[From: Luz] 10:03am**  
leck’s ex

 **[From: Luz] 10:04am**  
she’s hot wnat me 2 intervene

 **[From: Luz] 10:06am**  
jk they were just xchangin notes

 **[From: Luz] 10:09am**  
hes lookin @ me holy shit hwat do i do

 **[From: Luz] 10:10am**  
wait jk im good i love lip

It continued until Luz decided he was going to actually pay attention to his AP Lit class for a while, the fucking idiot.

So Ron started off that week in a particularly horrible mood.

Ron can be nice, contrary to popular belief. But if there’s one thing he hated, it’s rumors about himself that didn’t have a purpose. He didn’t care if everyone thought he stabbed a guy for picking on his little sister (he would, but he hasn’t had to so far thanks to that rumor), or that he once got arrested for punching a cop (half true, but that’s irrelevant). At least that meant no one would fuck with him. What’s the point in spreading rumors about someone’s relationship status? None. There’s no point. Now nobody wants to talk about anything interesting. The second he tries to change the subject, it’s all “oh, this must be so hard for you” or “why do you keep running from your feelings, Ron?”. This isn’t fucking Dawson’s Creek.

Sorry he wants to talk about baseball, Jesus Christ, it had been a fucking intense game last night, okay? More intense than his “problem” with “admitting he has feelings” which is bullshit. Everyone knows he has feelings. He’s cried before. He was a baby once.

He’s sitting at the usual lunch table, thinking over his current predicament, when he gets another text.

 **[From: Luz] 11:33am**  
lliipppy is bringin a girl to the lunch table in t-minus now, im with him wow shes pretty

 **[From: Luz] 11:33am**  
ur prettier dont worry sparky

Ron wishes he could go back to the days when Luz was too terrified to talk to him.

Luz was right. Lip was bringing over a girl, and she was pretty. Not that Ron gave a fuck either way. Lip can do what he wants, he’s a big boy. Ron wishes his inner monologue was a little more convincing.

“Hey,” Ron said coolly. He gave Luz the dirtiest look he could muster up. To his satisfaction, Luz looked like he just shat his pants at least 3 times. He recovered at an admirable speed to appear somewhat chill. Ron fixed his attention on the lovely lady on Lip’s arm (she was standing a socially acceptable few inches away from Lip, but that’s beside the point). “Hi, I’m Ron Speirs.” He held out a steady hand. Anyone who said Ron wasn’t chill needed to get a clue.

“I’ve heard.” The girl said, giving Lipton a look that made him blush. Well, fuck that shit right here and now.

“Hm.”

It was slightly tense.

“So, uh, any of the other boys gonna show up?” Lipton said as he and his lady friend settled in. Luz appeared to be uneasy, but Ron didn’t give a shit how Luz felt at the moment.

“Isn’t that Sid?” Lipton’s probably future wife and mother of his children asked, appearing a bit bashful. Fuck that shit, why didn’t she look bashful before? Lip’s just as handsome as Sid. Lip could make a rock wall bashful. Fuck this.

Turns out it was Sid, hurrah, throw a fucking parade.

With Sid, there’s always fucking Eugene and with Eugene comes Leckie and Web, because apparently Snafu decided today he wanted to fuck Ron over and leave him with all the fucking romantic shitheads.

(Ron was in a bad mood, he could admit.)

“Fucking hell…” Ron angrily peeled his orange and ignored the chatter around him. Stupid fucking Phillips, stupid fucking Lipton, hella fucking dumb George Luz. He accidentally went too hard on the orange peeling, surprise there, and got juice all over his hands. Fuck oranges. Fuck Florida for being responsible for them.

“Ron, you okay?” To Lip’s credit he did appear worried. As if he could ever not appear like the most generous human being on the planet. What’s the deal with that? Lip should try hating someone for a change. He should start with Luz.

“He’s a little sick today.” Luz bravely said. Ron tried to set him on fire with his eyes. With the literary triplets and Sunshine McGee (Sid) between them, Luz felt invincible. Ron briefly regretted being born.

Today also was the day Sledge decided to try and be funny.

“Yeah, a little lovesi-”

“Okay, that’s enough. Remember, I know where you all live.” It wouldn’t have been scary, but Ron prided himself on his ability to make people fear for their lives when he wanted to. The thing was, if he were to tell Lip anything about how he felt, it would be on his own time. Not indirectly through some skinny redhead freshman that cries nineteen times a week.

It was eerily quiet as he left the table.

“So, how about that AP Lit paper?”

 

(Later that same week, Andy Haldane gets into a fight with a kid named Tony Peck. The thing that makes this special is that Andy Haldane doesn’t fight, he settles disputes. So whatever Tony Peck did, it must’ve really pissed off Andy.

Ron had a whole lot of respect for Andy, so he was naturally curious as to what happened. Apparently, Tony had been harassing Sledge, going so far as to hold the kid’s medication over his head, refusing to let him have it. Andy walked by, tried to reason with Tony, and when it became clear that Sledge actually needed his medication or else he’d fucking pass out, Andy punched the guy for not giving it back. How you could ever target braces wearing, skinny, tiny, polite-to-a-fault Eugene Sledge, Ron had no idea. The poor kid was just a fourteen year old marshmallow.

Ron felt a little bad for being so mean to him, even though it was just in his head.)

 

Few weeks later, turns out the pretty girl who was supposedly Lip’s soulmate (okay, slight exaggeration, but blame Luz for not being able to read a fucking situation) was actually named Gwen, and at the moment she was the love of Sid Phillips’s life.

Ron nearly strangled Luz to death after that one.

“You’re going to stop texting me.” Ron had said, towering over Luz with hell’s fury in his eyes. Luz nodded and smirked and ran away, probably to go ruin someone else’s life.

Ron was being dramatic, but right now he just wanted everyone to shut up and leave him alone. Now that it was clear Lip had no lady friend, everyone was back to pressuring him into doing something about it. Needless to say, he’d been kind of an asshole lately. And it was a fucking Monday. He really hated Mondays.

“Alright, but Ron-”

“Don’t ‘but Ron’ me, Dick. There’s no situation, alright? I’m not feeling sorrowful. I am feeling a little pissed off that everyone has gotten so bored with themselves that they need to talk about my life. That’s the end of it.”

Ron liked to hang out at the Winters household after school as much as possible. There was less noise, less clutter, and Dick is one of his best friends when he’s not forcing him to have a heart to heart. Ron loves the guy, but he wants what’s best for everyone all the time and it’s exhausting.

“You gave Luz a heart attack.”

“Good.”

With that, Ron furiously began to study for his sociology midterm. Only ten minutes into a rapid fire round of flashcards, his phone buzzed.

 **[From: Lip] 3:54pm  
** Are you at Dick’s?

 **[To: Lip] 3:54pm  
** Yeah, why?

Ron only realized after sending his reply that it sounded slightly hostile. He would probably feel a lot worse about it if he didn’t have a heart of black sludge.

(Although, if anyone said that behind his back, a mob led by the Toccoa kids would beat them to a pulp before they had the chance to finish their thought.

Anyone who’s grown up with Ron knows he’s not heartless, but careful with his heart. Although, if anyone said that to his face, he’d most likely gut you. Unless your name is Carwood Lipton.)

**[From: Lip] 3:55pm  
** I’m coming over. We need to talk.

What the fuck?

“Hey, Dick, wanna tell me what it is Lip and I apparently need to talk about?” He shoved his phone at Dick, who tried to look mildly annoyed. He welcomed the distraction from studying anyway.

“Maybe he knows.” Dick shrugged. As if this was a shrugging matter.

“Knows what?”

“Don’t be purposefully stupid, Ron. It’s not charming.”

“I don’t need to charm you.”

“Listen,” Dick sobered suddenly. “You’re one of my best friends, but Lip is too. While I sort of understand your inability to trust anyone, please don’t put Lip in the ‘anyone’ category. He’s had his own deal of heartbreak throughout the years. Don’t lead him on. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt.”

Ron was very good at putting away his emotions. He could do it here. He would have to, because he was absolutely not about to bring Lip into his whirlwind of emotional detachment. Lip deserves girls who he can make bashful or boys who turn into blushing choir boys around him. He doesn’t need someone like detached, rumored-to-have-stabbed-a-guy, crazy ole Sparky Speirs. So Ron would handle it. He’d let this rumor blow over and it would all be one hundred percent, totally okay.

“I have it handled, Dick. No broken hearts here.”

Oh man, was he fucked.

 

When Lip showed up, Ron was ready. He was ready to make it clear to Lip that nothing would happen, that their friendship would be salvaged, all would be good to go.

Ron was not expecting to get a Disappointed Mom talk.

They were sitting on Dick’s bed. Because there’s nothing more normal than kicking your best pal out of his room to have a serious talk with your other best pal.

“Listen, Ron, about Gwen…”

“Look, the boys didn’t mean anything-”

“You don’t have to explain anything to me.”

Ron was slightly confused. “Really?”

“Look, I understand. Gwen is very pretty. But you need to let Sid be happy. You know he’s been having a rough time, his parents fighting and all…” Ron really didn’t know that. He wasn’t on that personal of a level with any of the Pacific kids, besides maybe Haldane and Jones, but that’s because they’re all on the tennis team together. “...Sledge says this is the happiest he’s seen him in months. And you just met her today, yeah? Sid has known her for a while now. Let him be happy.”

Ron has never been more confused in his life. Including the time he found Guarnere and Lew manically knitting. Why would he be interested in a freshman girl?

“What are you talking about?”

“Your god awful mood when you met Gwen at lunch. And Sledge saying you’re lovesick. Your awful mood since you found out they’re official. Not that difficult to piece that together. I also heard you scared the hell out of Luz. Come on, Ron.” Oh man, there is nothing worse than Lipton’s Disappointed Mom tone. It made Ron feel awful, and he didn’t even do anything insanely wrong.

Ron knew he should think rationally and put his feelings off to the side for Lip’s wellbeing. But he was never good at being selfless. He decided to fuck his plans to compartmentalize and just jump in. Dick would be proud.

“Yeah, you’re right Lip. I’ve been lovesick.”

Lip looked genuinely alarmed. “Alright, well-”

“But not for Gwen.”

If someone asked Ron to explain why his heart was beating abnormally fast at that moment, he honestly could not say. He knew that he wasn’t in danger, that Lipton was as safe as they come. He didn’t feel like he was doing anything heroic or impressive whatsoever. It was just talking. Still, he felt exposed, awkward, and unsure. Three things that Ron tries never to be. There’s a reason Ron put off doing this.

“For...Sid?”

Ron wished Luz was here so he could punch something.

“No. Trust me, my guy is about thirty times dreamier than Sid.” It was only half a joke. “He’s well respected. Hell, people probably respect him a helluva lot more than they do me. He’s one of about four people I trust completely. He’s one of the finest gentlemen to come out of this place.”

Lip just stared at him. Ron really needed to work on his ability to drop hints.

“You have no idea who I’m talking about, do you?” Ron sighed.

“I can’t say that I do.” Lipton sounded so genuinely apologetic that Ron just wanted to pet him a little. God, romance really makes him a fucking creep.

“It’s…” There’s a moment where Ron considers say that he’s in love with Lew and putting on a dramatic performance about how hard it is to be around Lew and Dick all the time, the horrors of unrequited love, but he decided to man up. He respected Lip enough to know that he could make his own decisions. If Lip thought Ron was bad for him, he’d make it clear. That’s what pushed Ron forward. The logic of love. (God, he’s a fucking sap). “It’s you.”

Lipton barely responded at first, just a quirk of his eyebrows let Ron know he’d been taken by surprise. A smile slowly creeped on his face, which also sort of creeped Ron out. Still, no verbal response.

“Alright, well.” Ron made to stand up.

“Wait, sorry. It’s just, I’m surprised. And honored.”

“Honored?”

“I make Ron Speirs get all bashful and gooey inside. I have a right to be a little honored.” Lip smiled.

“Hey, I never said nothing about being bashful and gooey.”

“You didn’t have to. I’ve known you since we were rugrats. Don’t act like you have an invincible exterior. I can see right through you.”

“I’ve worked very hard on this exterior.”

Lip actually _gave him an up down_. “I can tell.”

Did he just-

“Did you just flirt with me?”

“Felt sort of weird, didn’t it?”

Ron laughed. “I just told you that you’re dreamy. I think we’re all trying new things today.”

They both smiled for a moment, Ron still a little unsure about what just happened. That was all cleared up when Lip leaned in and kissed him.

Lip kisses in a spectacular way. He kisses like he cares, like he wants nothing more than to be right here, kissing Ron. He kisses like he wants Ron to know he’s here. He kisses like he’s writing a love letter, like he’s writing a sonnet. Ron never knew he could describe a kiss in such a pansy-ass way; it must be the influence of going to all of Web’s poetry slams.

When they separated, looking at each other in awe and Ron feeling hella fucking lucky, Lip set a hand on Ron’s chest.

“This was not how I meant for this talk to go.”

“Are you complaining?”

“God, hell no.”

“Wanna get out of here so we aren’t making out on Dick’s bed?”

“Absolutely.”

For a Monday, Ron has got to say it turned out pretty damn well.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, if there's any age/pairing/character/friendship you want to see, lemme know!
> 
> ALSO, I will most likely reorganize this. When I first posted it, I was an idiot.  
> It'll most likely end up being split up with Pacific Avenue early days, Toccoa Lane early days, and then another section for when they fuse together  
> Idk if that would be easier or not idk im scared help


	5. part of the problem (1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lewis is not missing Dick.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGES:::  
> Dick: 18/college freshman  
> Lew, Ron, Lip, Compton, Gene, Luz: 17/18/high school seniors  
> Joe, Web, Babe, Guarnere, Malarkey: 16/17/high school juniors  
> (Andy and Eddie are also mentioned, they are Dick's age!)
> 
> Thank you all so much for reading this story! I worked a few days on this chapter. It was originally like 3920580x more dramatic, but I thought it was unlike Nix to be like that, so I rewrote the entire plot to be a little happier.   
> Seriously, thank you all so much.   
> I would've updated this before, but I've been really sick so it was hard to write for long periods without getting a massive headache.

They were absolutely not an old married couple.

Okay, so maybe they were, but Lew was quick to deny it. Although he knew when he was seventeen, watching Dick pack his car and drive off to university, that it was unlikely anyone else could possibly understand him the same way Dick did (and there was no way in hell he would trust anyone the way he trusted Dick), it didn’t mean they were married or even dating. It’s called meaningful friendship, look it up, Guarnere.

Ron and Lip stayed with him the whole day. Lew thought they were being pretty dramatic. It wasn’t like Dick was going to fucking Oregon for school; he was going to a small liberal arts college in Pennsylvania, the asshole. He was barely two and a half hours away. Lew could visit him every weekend if he so damn pleased. Not that he would. He wasn’t fucking obsessed with him (also, he didn't want to take off work; he had gas and car payments). He could exist without Dick Winters, dammit. And anyone who said otherwise should be prepared to get punted (especially Guarnere, fuck him).

All the boys were there when Dick left. It was a Wednesday, just a week before school started for the rest of them. Dick was the only one of the boys to leave this year, making it all the more difficult to say goodbye. Lew acted very cool about the whole ordeal, only giving Dick a manly half-hug before seeing him off. Babe nearly said something about it, but Gene slapped a hand over his mouth before he could.

“Keep in touch, you hear?” Lew said with ease. They’d had a private goodbye the night before (no, they didn’t need condoms, fuck you, Guarnere). “Don’t forget about us.” He said it as a joke, but he sort of meant it in a way. Fucking feelings. He and Ron should start a Fuck Feelings And Those Who Cause Them Club. They could get cute t-shirts. He looked over where Ron was standing with a casual arm around Lip’s shoulders and remembered Ron liked feelings now. Traitor.

“Ah, it’s impossible to forget about you guys.” Dick said. Everyone gave out an exaggerated ‘awww!’ that made Dick roll his eyes for the fourth time that hour. “I’ll call when I’m settled!”

There was a chorus of tearful goodbyes as Dick and his parents drove off, but Lew wasn’t part of it. He stood there silently until the car was out of sight, laughing off all of the boys’ sympathetic hugs when the car was gone. He wasn’t a goddamn baby. It’s not like he was having separation anxiety after two minutes, damn.

“Well, one more week before senior year. Soon we’ll be out of here just like Dick!” Buck clapped a hand on Lew’s shoulder. The rising seniors of the group all cheered while the rising juniors groaned. They all broke off, some to get ready for work, others to go fuck about at someone else’s house. Guarnere made a kissy face and Lew swore to end his life within the next twenty four hours.

Ron and Lip took him out to lunch, the angels. Lew kept his phone on the loudest volume so that he’d be able to get Dick’s call. It’s not that he was afraid Dick wasn’t going to make it. And he absolutely did not under any circumstance miss him already. That was for lame, co-dependent people. He just wanted to make sure Dick settled in alright.

Ron and Lip made sure Lew wasn’t alone for the rest of the day and to remind him of the great fun senior year was about to be, but it was all in vain. Lew was already counting down the days until Thanksgiving break.

 

**95 days.**

School was school. Nothing special about it. Lew didn’t feel any different walking the halls as a senior, he just felt like a loser missing his best friend. What fucking ever. Nothing a few smokes couldn’t fix.

But the thing was, every time he smoked, there was Dick’s voice in his head like an angel on his shoulder listing all the reasons he should stop. Lew really needed to get a fucking hobby. Gene not so passive aggressively reminded him that rowing pre-season was coming up and he needed clean lungs.

“Thanks, Doc, but these lungs are made of steel. Tobacco never bothered me anyway.”

That set Guarnere off singing and Lew was reminded of why he should’ve gone through with drowning him in a lake as kids.

With nothing else to do, he focused on his studies and running the state’s greatest chemistry club. Contrary to popular belief, he wasn’t an idiot. He got good fucking grades and he was proud of them. Hell, people asked him about chemistry more than they asked Web for help on literature.Take that, motherfuckers. Although, he kept the whole chem club president thing as under wraps as possible. Luz tried to out him a lot, but Lew just reminded him of different chemicals that could give him a slow and sure death and then he happily stopped.

Besides Dick not being there to talk to, nothing much has changed. Ron and Lip still try to be low-key about their very high-key romance (if high-key wasn’t a term yet, Lew was gonna make it a term if only to describe their fucking relationship). Web and Joe still made out during football games and fought over who loved each other more (Lew was very close to vomiting). Fucking Leckie is still trying to be into girls when he has made it pretty clear he doesn’t _want_ to be with girls. Lew’s pretty sure he’s listened to Leckie’s “but maybe I just need the right girl” speech at least seventeen times, despite everyone telling Leckie to try a guy or a Hoosier. Babe broke four fingers playing baseball with Guarnere and Muck. Business as usual.

So Lew could pretend he wasn’t missing Dick. He really could. Just watch.

It was lunch time with Ron and Lip again. Fucking no thanks. Eddie and Andy decided they wanted a higher education too and went the fuck off to college. At least they were at NYU and not Bumfuck, Pennsylvania like some people. Ron, Lip, Luz, and Buck decided to play “remember when”. Lew was playing it cool (he hadn’t heard from Dick all day so he was in a pissy mood, basically).

“Remember that time we convinced Dick to skinny dip in the lake?” Buck laughed loudly.

“Yeah, what a great night.”

“Yeah.” Lew scoffed. “Damn, you guys are so obsessed with him, what’s the deal? He’s not like...he’s not, you know, whatever. God.” With that eloquently put statement, Lew decided he was done with lunch and stood up to leave. As he was making his admittedly dramatic exit, he overhead a small bit of annoying conversation.

“Don’t worry about him. He’s going through the five stages of grievance. Today is denial.”

Well, fuck Ron. Fuck Ron so hard. Ron doesn’t even know. Ron is so stupid. Lew wished everyone would just shut up any leave him alone. He’s not broken hearted, he just thought everyone should stop acting like Dick died and he’s some celestial being who they all needed to worship.

Alright, so maybe he’s being dramatic and maybe he was kinda missing Dick and today _was_ denial. But that was besides the point.

It’s just that...who is he supposed to call and talk to with this sort of shit? Dick couldn't know that Lew was practically obsessed with him. He probably already knew since they texted everyday and Skyped on the weekends and...whatever. Harry would laugh in his face, and he should also focus on you know, grad school. Ron and Lip are Ron and Lip (he knew he could talk to them, he was just making excuses, honestly). He couldn't admit to anyone that he was awkwardly in love with his best friend, because now his life was a walking soap opera. Dramatics be damned, Lew sort of just wanted to be happy. And fuck if he was ever going to admit that shit.

So he threw out his trash, and he spent the rest of the lunch period wandering the halls and missing his goddamned best friend.

 

**70 days.**

Senior year was in full swing and Lew sort of had an aching in his chest when he remembered Dick wouldn't be here for their version of homecoming, but he just attributed that to the cold weather. Gene gave him a disappointed look and informed him it’d been a steady fifty five degrees all week, but whatever. Gene didn’t understand. Did future doctors even have feelings?

Posters were hung up everywhere for homecoming. Rumors were circulating about how Joe and Web were going to ask each other to the dance this year. One girl said something about a barbershop quartet, another guy said something about a slip n slide. Lew didn’t want to know. The two always had some weird thing where they asked each other to homecoming, as if they weren’t for sure going to go together anyway. It started when they were freshmen and Joe got mad because Web asked him to the dance first, or something equally trivial. It ended in annoying declarations of each others’ love every damn year. It made Babe turn into a pile of goo each time, because apparently he had a romantic bone somewhere that he hadn’t broken yet. It was pretty dramatic. Lew was just glad he wouldn’t be around when they ask each other to their senior prom.

Lew wasn’t going to homecoming this year. He actually never did. The only time he went to a school dance was when Dick asked him to go as friends to last year’s prom. It was great, sure, but only because Dick was there (fuck, no, Lew was not going to that guy) and they got to see Andy and Eddie blush on the dance floor. Usually he and Dick spent dance nights over a TV show and bucket of greasy food.

So he glared at all the posters in the hall, at all the decorations for the football team’s game against their rival, at all the people who gave him sympathetic looks as if he had some terrible tragedy in his life. He absolutely didn’t cry when Dick sang him a happy birthday off key on Skype. Because he was fucking fine.

 

**57 days.**

Lew could tell that Ron was fucking fed up with him being married to his phone. He was surprised he hadn’t gotten a lecture yet, seeing as usually Ron had a talent for calling out bullshit before it happens.

It was homecoming night. All the guys were excitedly getting ready at the Compton house, which was unfortunately right next to his. He’d been invited, of course, but he insisted he was going to stay home and watch Star Trek on Netflix with a carton of Ben & Jerry’s instead.

So he’d settled in, but five minutes into Amok Time and a debate with Dick over Picard vs Kirk (Dick is deluded into thinking Picard has any hold over the original captain), there was a knock on his door. He’d expected it to be the chinese food delivery man, but he was gravely disappointed to find out it was just Ron with a disappointed looking Lipton behind him.

“You are a little, pathetic, old man, you know that?”

“Hello to you, too, Ron, and don’t you look lovely tonight.” Lew always did love to see Ron in a suit. It almost made him look down to earth. Lip, who actually was down to earth, just looked handsome. Lew hated his friends.

“I thought they were joking when they said you were staying in with Chinese food, ice cream, your phone, and Star Trek. You were being serious. Holy shit.” Ron said incredulously. “You are secretly the lamest married person I know.”

“Hey, this is a tradition, I’ll have you know.” Lew said with fake offense. “Dick and I always spend homecoming doing this while you all go make fools of yourself. We’re just doing it in a different way this year.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, have fun. Call me if you’re crying or sad. Or don’t. You’re coming to the after party or the after party will come to you.”

Lew made a face as they left. Fuck them, they don’t know what it’s like to be happy with your own company...or with your friend’s company from very afar.

He ended up going to the after party because he always did like an excuse to get plastered. It was in Web’s basement this year, his parents gone on business and unfortunately leaving their son with a few too many accessible bottles of alcohol. Lew always brought his own just in case. The alcohol made him weak, and because the world is against him, he was cornered (literally in a beanbag in the corner) by Guarnere and Babe. Dammit. They wouldn’t fucking shut up. Every time he would get up to leave, Guarnere would grab his ankle and pull him back down.

“So tell us about how you fell in love with Mom.” Babe said with too much enthusiasm to be sober. Guarnere was half asleep, untied tie slipping off his neck. He perked up at that though, the little shit.

“I’m pretty sure you should be asking Ron that question.” Lew was not drunk enough for this. “Isn’t Lip the mom?”

“We have two Moms. I think...oh, man, do you think Lip gets sad about that? Do you think he wants to be the only mom?” Babe turned and hollered to no one in particular, “Where’s Mom?!”

Luz answered, “Ain’t he in front of you?”

Babe started crying. “I have too many moms.”

Lew was definitely not drunk enough for this.

 

**45 days.**

School went on as usually. He remained as casual as possibly about missing Dick while simultaneously texting him as much as possible. They weren’t an old married couple, he had to remind everyone. That was Web and Joe.

Even Web and Joe, who were annoyingly proud with their long ass relationship, disagreed with that.

“No. Even as long as we’ve been dating, you and Dick have always been the old married dudes. I mean, you always check in with each other whenever you make plans. You grocery shop together. You text each other mood updates. You’re the only ones who can handle the other when they’re grumpy. The only one you won’t brutally attack if they try to wake you up? Dick. Only person to meet your elusive grandmother? Dick. Only one who can get you to stop being Nixon the Grouch? Dick. He didn’t call everyone after he moved in, dude. He only called you.” Joe shrugged. “You’re whipped as fuck.”

“Okay, but you and Web do almost all of those things.”

“Yeah and we’ve been dating since we were seven.” Web said smugly. Lew wanted to punch him in the face sometimes.

“You know what, fuck you two. Go make out or something. Leave me alone.”

 

**23 days.**

**[To: dickie dick] 10:05am  
** help me I think Gene wants to kill me

**[From: dickie dick] 10:06am**   
What did you do to him?

**[To: dickie dick] 10:06am**   
so you know the life size skeleton he keeps in his room? so he and i were kind of studying and one thing leads to another and so anyway i might have (MIGHT have) stolen its right arm, but it was for a good use but he’s been giving me the cold shoulder since last night

**[From: dickie dick] 10:07am**   
So you and Gene had kinky sex that involved using his skeleton’s body parts?

**[To: dickie dick] 10:08am**   
FUCK hell no, fuck no, never fuck, shit, forget that. luz challenged me to a jousting match and i couldn’t refuse or else they’d make me help them with their homework and the only weapon i had was that arm

**[From: dickie dick] 10:08am**   
Your life must be so hard. I can’t help you with this one. Buy him chocolate, take him on a proper date.

**[To: dickie dick] 10:09am**   
i’m going to remember this when i have to buy your christmas and birthday presents. be prepared for a month of coal.

 

**10 days.**

He got his acceptance letter to University of Chicago two weeks a week and a half before Thanksgiving break.

He’d applied on a complete whim. He had decent grades, yeah, but he never thought he had those kind of grades. He didn’t think he had the extracurriculars to get in. He’d been a member of the varsity rowing team since freshman year, but that was the most dedication he had to anything (besides Lady Chemistry, but that was a secret). He didn’t think he had a good enough rep for his coach to give him anything but a basic letter of recommendation. Maybe it was the letter from his favorite science teacher, who made him seem smarter than he was. Probably. He wasn’t an idiot, but University of Chicago? Damn.

He didn’t really know how to celebrate. He didn’t want to tell everyone yet, because it didn’t really feel real. And he would rather tell Dick in person than through a phone.

The thing was, he didn’t have to worry about money like some of his friends. He was the only child and his grandparents were disgustingly wealthy, not to mention his father had a pretty good job on top of that. Once he decided on a school, it was his.

And there was little chance anyone from here was gonna choose University of Chicago.

 

**1 day.**

The day before Dick is supposed to come back for break is a Sunday. Nix worked at a small cafe in the center of town. The boy used to come and bug him all the time, but...well. It was a rainy, cold day, so the only real customers they had that stayed wanted soup and coffee. It should’ve been easy, but Lew always preferred distracting himself with work. By the time it was two o’clock, there was nobody in the cafe.

He was saved by some of the Toccoa guys bursting through the door of the establishment with more gusto than necessary.

“Hey! Lew, our favorite guy!” Luz cheered in a way that made Lew slightly nervous.

“Uh, yeah. That’s me.”

“We would like four big bowls of piping hot potato soup, four cups of hot chocolate, and you to sit down and chat with your old pals.” Luz said smoothly. Lew was both impressed and confused.

“Uh...alright.”

When he brought out their soup and drinks, they actually motioned for him to sit down.

“So it’s come to our attention that you want to get with Dick.” Buck said seriously.

Lew did not see that one coming.

“What? Fuck off, you guys.”

“No, really, listen. Joe said you’re courtin’ Dick and as the Dick Defense Team- ” Lew rushed to cut Malarkey off.

“Okay, wait, you guys are the Dick Defense Team? Who’s on the Lewis Defense Team?”

Silence.

“I don’t get a fucking team?!”

“Hold on, hold on!” Luz nearly bounces out of his seat. “Most of us thought you two had been dating for a while, so when Joe told us the news a while back, we decided to intervene. But like, you know, everyone loves Dick.”

Lew had nothing say anything to that. He was too impressed by their stupidity and insulted by the fact that there was no Team Lewis. He looked to Gene, who he thought he was on good terms with again. The silent ones always hold the worst grudges.

“Et tu Genè?”

Gene paused for a moment, looking very guilty. “Uh, I just thought we were going out to lunch.”

“You lying little shit.” Lew said with no real bite. “You’re on Team Dick.”

“To be fair, Team Lew wouldn’t be able to do much damage since you’re the only one in town.” Luz reminded him.

“Ron told us you’re in love with him anyway, so you don’t have to lie to us. Just tell us your intentions.” Buck smiled.

Fucking Ron. No secrets with that little fucker. He knew he forgot something about the homecoming after party. Lew has a horrific flashback to lying on his back in front of Ron, detailing his emotional distress in an unidentifiable accent. Fuck, fuck, fuck. 

“My intentions are to be his best friend. Now fuck off.” Lew stole a spoonful of soup from Luz’s bowl, just because.

“Why don’t you love Dick? Is he not good enough for you? Not ginger enough? Not tall enough? Because he’s taller than you, stop complaining. He would treat you so nice, he would be so good for you!” Luz said. Lew thought he was a little too into this relationship that he wasn’t a part of. “I can’t believe you don’t love our favorite parent.”

“I thought Lip was your favorite parent.”

“We have like five parents, it changes.” Malarkey said. Gene nodded along. Lew was honestly still surprised Gene was involved in this at all. He had so much faith in him until now. This betrayal would be remembered. 

“Am I anyone’s favorite parent?”

“Uh, probably Babe’s. You bring him good alcohol and listen to him talk about how awkward it is when he and Guarnere make out, so.” Buck said. _As if I have a choice in the matter,_ Lew thought. He was amused to see Gene flushing at the table. Buck noticed, too. “Oh, what’s wrong, Gene? Uncomfortable talking about Babe making out with people?”

“Shuddup.”

“I made out with him one time.” Luz said. Lew wasn’t surprised. “Those lips.”

Gene visibly regretted coming to this meeting.

He tried not to relish in Gene’s pain, but Lew was more than happy to keep the attention off him. He stole their soup until his shift was over.

 

**0 days.**

The whole school day went by slower than Lew ever imagined. He could barely concentrate on anything. During lunch, Lip and Ron sat across from him and gave him these _looks_.

“So, Dick’s back.” Ron smirked. Lew liked it better when he was trying to be scary.

“Yeah. He is.”

Lip and Ron shared a look that gave Lew the heebie jeebies and pretended like they weren’t holding hands under the table. Fuckers.

“Look, we think it’s time.” Lip said, as if he and Ron were the divine deciders of what happens in the world. But he couldn’t be mad at Lip because he’s always annoyingly looking out for everyone else. So he whatever advice he gave, it was purely in the interest of improving everyone else’s well being. Selfless bastard.

“Okay.” Lew said slowly when they didn’t try to explain.

“We just want you and Dick to be happy.” Lip said. “So it might be hard to talk about, but it has to be cleared up.” Lew still didn’t know what the hell he was talking about, but goddamn, he was always so comforting to talk to. He was impossible to be angry or disrespectful towards, and it drove Lew up the goddamn wall. Between him and Dick, they could mother to death half the boys of Toccoa and make the rest their army.

“Thats great, but what the hell am I supposed to talk about with him?”

“Nix, don’t be a dumbass.” Ron said. Well shit, Lew wanted Lip to talk again, Ron was mean. Did Lip know how mean his boyfriend was?

“You guys are ridiculous. Why is this all coming up now? Why not last year or the past fifteen years?”

“Well…” Lip started. “We didn’t want to intervene. Until he left, a lot of the guys thought you’d been dating for years.”

“Wait, okay, but why do I have to do the talking? Dick can talk, way better than me at that.”

“Because Dick is patient and he would take ten years to say anything.” Ron said honestly. “And you’re an idiot.”

“We don’t need to talk about anything. We’re just best pals, for Christ’s sake, not everyone who’s friends has to end up fucking like you two.”

“Hey, they don’t fuck! They make love!” Luz had materialized next to Lew’s shoulder, setting down his lunch tray with emphasis.

“George, I’m giving you exactly three seconds to fuck off.” Ron stared at him unblinkingly.

With the grace of a drunk kangaroo, Luz fucked off.

 

Eventually, the school day did end. He suddenly found himself delaying his departure from the student parking lot. He drummed his fingers on his steering wheel, watching everyone else drive off. It would be best to let the other guys say hi to Dick first anyway, right?

He wasn’t nervous. That would be weird. Best friends don’t get nervous in front of their best friends. That was sort of the point. He’s not missing Dick’s sweaters or musk or whatever, alright? He was just, okay, fine, he missed him. He wanted to do weird things, like kiss him and hold his hand and buy him flowers on Valentine’s Day. Lew wanted to punch a teddy bear.

By the time he pulled into his own driveway, there was a party going on in Dick’s front yard. It was one of those nice autumn days where the sun was out and the weather was pleasant, because trust Dick to bring the sunshine with him. He didn’t want to talk to Dick until they could be alone, so he threw his bag to the side and ate a bag of kettle corn popcorn while planning on how to keep his cool.

 

Ringing the doorbell was the most difficult thing Lew had ever done; he swore it. He’d never been so intimidated by a button in his life. The moments between the doorbell ringing and someone answering the door made Nix sweat. He couldn’t help but think of all the things that were about to go wrong. Dick wasn’t ruthless, but that’s what made this so difficult. Lew would rather be yelled at and shamed forever than have Dick let him down easily and logically. No thanks.

Mrs. Winters answered the door with a cheery smile. “Lewis! You just missed the welcome back team. Dick’s upstairs in his room.”

“Thank you, Mary!” Lew didn’t mean to breeze past her - Mary was an outstanding woman - but he had very important things to do to her son. Fuck, no. Not like that...nevermind.

He barely knocked before he opened the door. They were best pals, it’s not like doors were a thing. He had about a thousand ways of starting this conversation swimming in his head, but he forgot them all when he saw Dick. Like the real thing. Actual Richard Winters sitting there on his bed, reading The Once and Future King and eating Red Vines in a snowflake sweater and grey boat pants and santa socks.

“Hey, Lew!” He smiled and immediately sat up.

“Nice socks.” Lew’s heart was jackrabbiting out of his ribcage. Something was going to happen and he was terrified. 

“My girlfriend got them for me before we left for break. I promised I’d show them off to all the guys.”

Lew choked on all his words.

He was absolutely not expecting _that_. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM SO SORRY.   
> There will be a second half to this, so all questions will be answered in that one.   
> Thank you all for reading, it means so much to me!
> 
> Also the thing with U of Chicago:::: I know nobody just GETS into UChicago, but Lew strikes me as the type to be an amazing student but he doesn't talk about it or admit it. Also it'll be brought up in part 2. Of the ones I have planned, I'm sending most the boys to their hometowns for college (not Web sorry buddy).


	6. part of the problem (2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lew and Dick get their shit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AGES:::  
> Dick: 18/college freshman  
> Lew, Ron, Lip, Compton, Gene, Luz: 17/18/high school seniors  
> Joe, Web, Babe, Guarnere, Malarkey: 16/17/high school juniors
> 
> Alright! Here's part 2! It's a bit shorter, but it ties this story up. Since I've been focusing so much on Ron and Lip and Dick and Nix recently, I gotta to return to my Webgotts for the next chapter. I do have Gene/Roe's get together written, but I feel like I'm being boring by writing about the same thing so I might save it for a later time. 
> 
> Fun fact: I started writing this when I was listening to It's All Coming Back To Me by Celine Dion. Hopefully it's not too dramatic.   
> All the people Dick becomes friends with are on an HBO show, I promise, even his girlfriend (who is a very minor character I got off one of the character lists for one of the episodes).

Apparently, Dick was keeping the fact that he _had a fucking girlfriend_  on the down-low because he’s a sweetheart who wanted to wait until they were officially “going steady” before telling anyone. They’d started “going steady” just before Dick left for break, so he decided to wait to tell the boys in person. Lew nodded along and pretended like he wasn’t heartbroken, or whatever happens to people when they feel like crying when their not-boyfriend gets a real girlfriend. Lew would’ve been angry, but how can you be angry when someone is using the term “going steady” so seriously?

He stayed for a few hours before going to find Ron and skin him alive for ever giving him ideas of romance.

Unfortunately, Lew didn’t see Ron until the next day. The fucker went into hiding, most likely. Well, actually, Lew figured Ron was too hard headed and fucking _insane_  to hide from anyone. Plus, apparently no one was really scared of Lew, least of all Ron. A lot of the guys had a theory Ron had no concept of fear.

Lew did, however, dig his phone out of his bag when he dragged himself back home for the night. He wished he didn’t. There were a dozen messages from the guys sent before he went over there. This is what he gets for not being addicted to his fucking phone.

**[From: sparky] 4:45pm**   
I’m telling you this because I care about you: don’t get your hopes up.

**[From: luz.] 4:54pm**   
DON’T DO THE THING EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO DO  
  
**[From: Babe] 4:55pm**   
because you’re my favorite parent/uncle that isn’t related to me, i care about your wellbeing. don’t tell dick the thing.

**[From: liebgott] 4:57pm**   
you guys are still married but just not like, literally, you know?

They were unsurprisingly unhelpful. But it was all good. Lew had everything under control. He had played best friend pretty damn well, listening to Dick tell him the ever so romantic story of how they met and who asked who out and all that shit. It was painful, but he’s just that good of a person. Sometimes. Even though sharing was definitely not caring in this case.

Lew looked to his desk and saw the acceptance package from University of Chicago and remembered that he never got a chance to tell Dick the good news. He must have been distracted by his fucking _broken heart_.

On a normal day, Lew prided himself on his anti-drama aura. Lately, he was thinking he needed to reconsider his aura.

 

“You know, you could still tell him.” Ron said stupidly the next day at lunch, after Lew had tried and failed to be angry at him for something that admittedly was no one’s fault. Lew honestly wondered why he was still friends with that asshole.

“Tell him what? Your girlfriend is hot, but I’m hotter, date me? I’ve been obsessed with you since we built sandcastles in your turtle sandbox, marry me?”

“Okay, you need to stop using the word ‘obsessed’ as a substitute for ‘in love with’. They’re not the same thing.” Ron threw his used napkin at Lew’s face.

“You’re a bitch. And they _are_ the same thing.”

“Do you think Web’s obsessed with Joe?”

Lew gave him a look. “Uh, for his birthday last year, Web handmade him a dozen plate sized cookies of his top favorite rock albums.”

“Yeah, because he loves him. And knows a suspicious amount of shit about him.”

“Obsessed.”

“Am I obsessed with Lip?”

“I’m not answering that question, you fucker.” Lew stole his Cuties and ended that awful conversation.

 

Thanksgiving always was Lew's favorite holiday. He always spent the day with the Winters’, as just him and his parents would be a pretty boring Thanksgiving. There were fun games with actual prizes and everyone had to go around and say what they were thankful for, which ended up being a controversial subject sometimes. The Winters house always had a variety of cousins and embarrassing aunts to entertain him. Plus, he was like a second son to Mary and Warner, so they couldn’t kick him out if they tried. That, and both sets of parents got on like a house on fire, so he’d have to spend the day there anyway.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t the only non-Winters kid there that year.

Dick’s girlfriend was from California, so she couldn’t afford to fly back for Thanksgiving _and_  Christmas break. She stayed with her girl pals in their apartment near campus, but Dick had insisted that she come to his for the holiday.

Her name was Anna, and she was the type who could be friends with Renee. She was pretty, impressed the parents with her intelligent nurse talk (Lew swore those medical folk spoke another language), and she was just _nice_. It unnerved him. He didn’t dislike her, but he never pictured Dick dating someone like Renee (because he didn’t like to picture Dick dating anyone besides him, but that’s irrelevant).

After a competitive game of Bingo that got Lew an old man cardigan that said “Captain Love” for no real reason on the pocket, he sat in front of fireplace and stole pie off Dick’s cousin’s plate. Frankie’d get over it; he knew for a fact he was Frankie’s favorite. He was bargaining for a second bite when Anna sat next to him.

“Listen, I don’t want to step on any toes, Lewis.” She said. Lewis was confused.

“Uh, you’re not? There’s enough room on the couch for like five of us, trust me, we’ve done it before-”

“I mean with Dick.”

Lew laughed awkwardly. “Uh, trust me, you’re not. Just best friends.”

“Right.” Anna said slowly. “But, I just want to make sure. I don’t want to get in the middle of anything. I told Dick that if there was anyone back home, even kind of, that I should know about, he could tell me. And at first, he swore there was nobody, but he’s always talking about you-”

“Whoa, whoa, it’s okay. Nothing to worry about. Dick and I...we’ve been best friends since before we could walk. If there was ever a ship, it has sailed by now. If he likes you, I like you. It’s how friendships work.”

“But you love him.” It wasn’t a question. Lew made a pained face, dropping his head into his hands.

Frankie gaped up at him. “You wanna kiss Dick?”

Lew had honestly forgotten Frankie was there. Shit. He was so screwed. Frankie was a bigger tattletale than Dick’s baby sister.

“No. No, no, absolutely no. And don’t you go telling Winnie that. Fuck, don’t-” It was too late. Whatever, kids are stupid. He turned to Anna. “I’m not in love with anyone.”

She didn’t look so sure.

 

Mary cornered him while they were doing dishes not too long later.

“So, you and Dick…” She said in that motherly tone that made Lew nervous.

“Yep. He’s like a brother to me, it’s nice to see him after so long.” Lew emphasized the word brother as much as possible without being awkward.

“You know, that’s not what Frankie told me.”

“Frankie’s a little devil, and we all know it.” Lew aggressively scrubbed at a pie pan. A small soggy bit of blueberry sauce flung onto his face. His life was really spiraling.

“I do like Anna, don’t get me wrong.” Mary eyed him mischievously. Lew really hated when a Winters got mischievous. One time, it ended with him having syrup in his hair and a stick of butter down his pants. “But it’s unfair to her to pretend like Dick isn’t preoccupied with someone else.”

“I hope it’s not Carwood. We might have to plan a funeral and arrest a friend all before Christmas.” Lew tried to dodge the topic. Why did everyone on this damn street have a preoccupation with romance?

“I see what you’re doing there, Lewis. You don’t fool me. I talk to people, you know.” She waved a dish scrubber at him. “Carwood told me what you were planning on doing.”

“Well, he’s a traitor and I can no longer consider him a friend.” Lew said with no bite. Although he was going to have a stern talk with Lip about what to not tell Dick’s mom.

“Anna sees it, too. She’s been nervous this whole time. She told me she heard about all the boys and Kitty and Renee, but Dick always talks about you fondly. I raised a gentleman, so I don’t think he’s trying to play with her emotions, but I think everyone he’s with is just biding time until he gets to you. Which, frankly, isn’t all that nice. But he doesn’t see it like that, or at least I hope so.”

The thought of Dick playing with anyone’s emotions is actually laughable. Dick was the most honest and generous guy Lew knew next to Lip (how Dick and Lip ended up loving two assholes like Lew and Ron, no one will ever truly understand).

“I don’t think he loves me like you think he does.” Lew concentrated on the last pan he had to clean.

“Well, don’t wait until you lose him forever to find out.”

And, shit, that scared the living fuck out of him.

 

Dick had no idea what he was doing. He met Anna in his required freshmen orientation course, and they’d bonded over hating it like everyone else. She was pleasant to talk to, warm, sweet, everything that wasn’t Lewis Nixon. 

The thing with Dick was that he loved patiently. He barely recognized that he was in love with anyone, because if he fell in love, it was slow and unnoticeable. He could love forever and ever and not give up. But this time, he’d tried to at least appear like he was capable of expanding his social circle beyond his street.

His roommate was amazing. Nate liked to keep to himself most of the time, but they often ate meals together and he was an excellent study partner. He was quiet, but snarky and hardheaded when Dick finally got him to open up a little. But he knew that you couldn’t be exclusively friends with your roommate in college or you’d both go insane, so he branched out. Met a kid named Burton who was an easy guy to hang out with. Met Anna.

He thought bringing Anna to Thanksgiving would make her realize she had nothing to worry about. Lew was pretty indifferent to the world on a good day, and they definitely weren’t the type of best friends to go around kissing each others faces all the time (e.g. George and Skip). There wasn’t anything that would indicate they were as infatuated with each other as Anna had speculated the first few times he talked about Lew.

It did the exact opposite. Not long after he’d arrived back on campus, Anna called and said they should talk. He couldn’t believe his first college relationship was already over and it hadn’t even lasted two months.

She let him down easy, saying she still wanted to be friends. If anyone could remain friends with their exes, it was definitely Dick. He said he completely understood, that he would love to still be friends, and that was that. It felt too easy. They even hung out the rest of the day in her apartment.

Dick decided it was time to stop running.

 

The first day of winter break, Lew sat on his bed and moaned at the ceiling while Luz, Gene, and Buck played Guitar Hero.

“Dick comes home today.” Buck sang. Lew kicked him lightly in the head.

“I know.”

“He doesn’t have a girlfriend anymore.” That made Lew grab the guitar out of Luz’s hands and jar him in the stomach with it. “Ow, fuck you! I was winning! Gene was about to get his ass kicked, man!”

“Stop talking about my love life. Why is it whenever you fuckers get bored you have to pick someone and make them get together? You did this with Lip and Ron last time, and now it’s me. Who’s next on your kill list?”

Buck and Luz looked manically at Gene with gleeful smiles.

“Fuck no, I’m out.” Gene stood up. “I’ve gotta go help my mama make lunch anyway. See y’all tomorrow. Let me know how it goes with Dick, yeah?”

Lew just snarled and took over Gene’s guitar.

 

Despite all the drama, angst, and pining that had led up to this point, the moment everyone had been waiting for is low-key and happened over a video game.

“So according to everyone who knows us, we’re already dating.”

Holy shit. Holy fucking shit. What the  _fuck_?

Lew and Dick were hanging out in Dick’s room again, playing an intense game of Plants vs. Zombies. He had to come to terms with the fact that he and Dick were just meant to circle each other for the rest of forever. It was good to be back to normal with Dick, no worries about things being weird, but he had to admit there was a sad ache sometimes. Well, at least until Dick dropped that bomb and gave Lew a fucking heart attack.

Dick, on the other hand, had been practically sweating nervously since Lew came over. He had no idea what he was going to do, but he knew he had to do something. It just sort of slipped out between killing zombies.

“Uh, yeah, weird, huh?” Lew laughed a little too loudly. “Weird, us dating, what a weird idea.”

Dick laughed nervously. “I mean, it’s understandable since we, you know, text all the time…”

“...Skype every weekend…” Lew added, game forgotten.

“...consult each other before making plans…”

“Nobody else can wake you up without getting smacked in the face.”

“You won’t lose your cool in front of anyone else but me.”

“I love you.”

They’d been slowly inching towards each other, despite already being thigh to thigh on Dick’s bed. Lew’s the one who makes the dive, unable to keep his cool any longer. He kissed Dick sweetly, not wanting to spoil the moment by trying to be raunchy. Plus, this was Dick he was kissing, not some drunk person at a party. He felt himself burst with warm happiness when Dick held his face gently in his hands.

“I swear I’m not obsessed with you but…” Lew was an idiot, why the fuck did he have to say that? Who’s response to ‘I love you’ is ‘I’m not obsessed with you’? He’s lucky as fuck that Dick knows him so well.

“I know you love me too.”

“God, I really fucking do.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wish there was a way I could keep updated and connected to everyone, but I don't have a Tumblr anymore sadly. I was thinking about making one just so I can talk about this 'verse but that's extreme LMaoooo so I'll just thank you all a million times here!   
> (if I do make some sort of page for this 'verse (which would help me plan things out honestly) I will definitely link it)  
> Also I guess I lied about UChicago being brought up again, I'm sorry. I couldn't fit it in. It will be brought up eventually because Lew's gotta tell someone where he's going to college


	7. breaking up is good to do

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> David and Joe have a talk. Publicly. 
> 
> The boys use social media.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> heeeyyyy im here with w/ some webgott!!!  
> AGES::::  
> Dick: 20/just finished college sophomore year  
> Nix, Speirs, Lip, Gene, Hoosier, Leckie: 19/just finished college freshmen year  
> Web, Joe, Babe, Skip, Luz, Guarnere: 18/graduating high school  
> Snafu: 17/end of his junior year

So it’s like this.

For as long as David can remember, he’s always felt entirely subpar in almost every way to Joe Liebgott. Everyone loved Joe, right? He might be brash sometimes, but people didn’t hold it against him because he usually had reasons for acting like a dick. Joe was handsome and if he wanted, he could have boys and girls alike flocking to him. And while David could admit to himself that he wasn’t unattractive, everyone tended to think he was a pretentious rich asshole.  Which wasn’t entirely untrue, but he liked to think he was somewhat likeable.

And David was an eighteen year old kid. He was angsty, and moody, and a little bit self-absorbed and he was generally socially unaware. Since he was at least eleven, all he could think was that someday Joe wouldn’t want to hang around his sorry ass anymore. He’d find someone better, who wasn’t some literary dick with an addiction to arguing. And he knew he sounded whiny and ungrateful, but he didn’t give a fuck. He just didn’t want to be the thing anchoring Joe down. The thing Joe regrets spending his entire childhood on. Unfortunately, David and Joe were notoriously awful at communication.

It didn’t help when senior year rolled around and they started looking at colleges. Well, everyone else did. Web had been prepared for college since he was ten. He watched in slight amusement as everyone scrambled to finish their apps while he calmly completed his own. Sometimes he’d look at the boys he grew up with and wonder what life would be like without them.

He’d seen the departures from the year before; he didn’t want to be split up like Babe and Gene were. He didn’t want to miss his best friends.

And sometimes David wondered if they’re really his best friends, if they love him as much as he loves them. But then Skip will jump on his back or Lew would punch his shoulder lazily and he’ll bounce back, remembering that they do love him, they do.

And then sometimes, he looks at Joe and wonders how it happened that they stayed together so long. How Joe hasn’t left him high and dry yet.

Joe will catch him staring sometimes and he’ll make a face, or say something like “Fuck, Davey, stop with the puppy eyes” and he’ll snap out of it. It’s a painful circle, a fog he sometimes has to muddle through and he absolutely hates it. He hates feeling so strangely insecure, as though he was constantly under intense judgement. But no one was judging him, except maybe the crazy intense principal who judges everyone so it’s really nothing special.

It all blew up after prom.

It was around the time that David got accepted into Harvard. It was cause for huge celebration among the boys. As soon as David opened the letter, finding himself accepted into an Ivy League school, the plans for a giant bash began.

A few weeks later, they brought out the street blocks and threw another block party (probably the fifth just that year). Francine Webster gave a tearful toast that had everyone crying. All of the college kids were back home for the summer at that point, and even Harry and Kitty made appearances much to the joy of all the boys. It was definitely one of the most significant moments of Web’s life up to that point.

He was hoping Joe would be proud of him, really that’s what he wanted. At the block party, no matter how much he beamed at everyone, he couldn’t help but give side glances to Joe. He sat in one of the plastic chairs they brought out for the huge picnic table line and he barely moved the whole night. He only got up to get food and sometimes talk to someone. He smiled politely at Francine, explaining that he was going to school in San Francisco where his dad lived and yes, he loved the campus. She must’ve known something. Francine always knew something.

“Joe, baby, I know it’s hard but you can’t sulk around like this. David’s worked so hard...” She said, gently rubbing Joe’s shoulder. He couldn’t even be angry at her for figuring him out. Nobody could ever really be mad at Francine.

“I know.” He said simply. What else could he say?

David, of course, knew something was up from the moment they all sat around the table. He had been shaking all night from the excitement. He’d been working on Harvard since he was ten years old. Why couldn’t Joe just be excited with him?

“Hey, Joey!” He sat down, attempting to keep feeling as on top of the world as he’s felt all night and trying to ignore the pit growing in his stomach. He had a smile on his face, red with laughter and partially because of tears from the words of pride from various Toccoa Lane boys. Even Ron got a little mushy.

“Hey, Web.” Joe was looking at his feet, and it sort of pissed David off. What was he looking all morose for? He was dating an Ivy Leaguer! It may sound shallow, but for once David didn’t care. He was proud of himself. Why was Joe taking that away?

“Joe, come on...this isn’t fair. Why are you sulking? It’s a party.” David made a motion to the boys had gathered all the younger kids and were now attempting to play a huge game of Catch-a-Booty in Skip’s front yard. Dawson Lipton and Cassidy Malarkey seemed to be getting a little too into it, practically growling at each other before each round. It looked rather intense, and David wondered if he could convince Joe to play. By the look on Joe’s face, it would probably end up a no-go. He looked on in amusement as Joe’s brother Lucas tackled down the youngest Heffron, Sara. She screamed, Lucas letting out a battle cry in return.

“Go enjoy it then.” He mumbled, chin down on his chest.

David silently stared at Joe for a long moment, his jaw tightening.

“Why are you being like this? I’ve been working since I was ten to get into Harvard and  when I finally do, you sit around acting like I’ve killed your puppy.” Web was more than a little pissed. Of all people, Joe should be the most supportive of this. He’s seen first hand how Web would stress out over classes, pulling at his hair and breaking down in tears when the pressure got too much. He was there the whole time, why was he pulling out now?

“It ain’t all about you all the time.” Joe snapped. He shook his head, laughing humorlessly. “God, you know...you’re lucky. You’re the one going off to an Ivy League school, gettin’ a fucking four year degree in a major you might not even use in your fucking life, but at least you get credibility and ‘m goin’ to some dumb state school that’ll maybe get me a job in four years.”

David was silent for a moment, processing this. “It’s not that bad. A lot of the guys are going to state schools.” Why was Joe making such a big fuss about it?

“Yeah, but you’re not. And we’re going to be a continent apart.” Joe grumbled, barely audible. Instead of making David feel all warm inside, like it might on any other given day when Joe admitted to any kind of affection, it just made him angry. Joe was just now getting upset about the whole thing? What was that supposed to mean?

Part of David thought that maybe Joe was just trying to find a reason to break up with him before college. That this was his way of saying ‘it’s been a good eighteen years, but it's gotta end sometime’.

“That’s why you’re upset? What do you want me to do about that, Joe? Hell, I got accepted to Berkeley and USC, but you nearly ripped up my forms before I even heard from Harvard.” Web sighed. “You’re the one who doesn’t want me to be in California with you. Christ, of all the times to get mad at me over this and you choose my acceptance party? Dammit, Joe...” He ran a hand through his hair.

“Excuse me for being upset that we’re gonna have to try and work out a goddamn long distance relationship! Hell, Davey, I’ve lived two houses down from you for eighteen years. How am I supposed to adjust to having to travel across the country just to see you in person?”

David was finding it hard to be mad at him for a moment, before hearing Winnie Speirs nearly cuss out her big brother in the background. Then he remembered where they were and why it was so frustrating to be hashing it out here and now.

“Alright Joe, you want to have this conversation here? Let’s have it. I’ve spent my whole life trying to prove to myself that I’m just as good enough for you as you are for me. I’ve been trying to tell myself ‘it’s okay, he loves you, he’d never leave you high and dry, just make him proud’.” He paused, taking a breath and trying to blink back some angry tears that decided now would be a good time to make their appearance. “I got into Harvard, Joe. I got into one of the top schools in the fucking country, and all you do is sulk around and make it about you. God...you were mad at me for wanting to be in California, and now you’re mad at me for being on the east coast.” Web rubbed a hand over his face and sighed in disbelief. “What do you want from me?”

“You always make me proud.” Joe said quietly. His voice rose suddenly as he grew angry. “But you tellin’ me you ain’t even gonna miss me, huh? For the past five fucking weeks it’s basically been like you’re just itchin’ to get away from me. Actin’ all better than everyone ‘cos you got a fucking 4.5 GPA. What, Mr. Ivy League Valedictorian too good for some dumbass like me?”

“That’s not even fair!” David’s voice rose more, garnering the wary attention of a few of the kids from the Catch-A-Booty circle. Lucas and Riley exchanged worried glances, wondering if it was their brother’s fault this time. “You know I’ve never thought that. Not once. You think it’s easy for me, huh? I’m so sick of this fake self-pity party you’re holding. You know how much every fucking kid at school fawns over you and you’re going to tell me that I think I’m too good for you? All this time I’ve felt like you’re going to wake up and realize you don’t need to deal with me anymore. And you’re going to throw that back in my face and tell me I’m acting pretentious?”

“Don’t be a fucking drama queen, David.” Joe scoffed. “But if that’s how you want to handle it, fine. I don’t need you tyin’ me down in college anyway. You afraid of not being good enough? You’re finally fucking good enough. You can go fuck some stuck up lawyer and forget about it.”

This made Web freeze. He heard shocked whispers of the group across the street, but he didn’t really register them. He was too busy focusing on the words. Every childhood fear, every laughed off worry, every dreamed up ending suddenly smacked him right in the face.

“Don’t even say that. You’re just mad, come on. We just need to take a break, maybe, and come back to it-”

“I’m fucking done with breaks and coming back to it. I don’t want to come back to it, to you, ever. I’m gonna be a country away from you in three months time. This’s been coming for years, anyway. You said so yourself, you’ve just been waitin’ for me t’ leave ya. Now ya don’t gotta wait anymore.” Joe stood roughly and kicked back his chair. “Have fun with your rich, pretentious life, Web.”

“Oh, hell no, you don’t.” David reached out and grabbed Joe’s arm before he got too far. He was never one to just let Joe storm off. Especially not this time. Joe looked furious, but David didn’t care. “Why did you suddenly change your mind, huh? Do you want me to say no to Harvard, Joe?”

“You know I’d never want that.” Joe said through gritted teeth. A tense moment passed before Joe pulled his arm out of David’s grasp and tugged angrily at his hair. “You fuckin’ know I want the world for you, so much it’s disgusting. I just, I can’t do this on my own, Davey. I’m gonna be all alone, y’know? And I ain’t good at that. You know I’m not. But, shit, the idea of you following me? Settling for some school in California when we both know you’re a New England hipster at heart? Fuck. I can’t handle that either. I’m sorry, Web, I just don’t know what to do.”

By now, Joe was trying his best not to cry. He casually wiped a hand across his nose to hide his sniffling, but he wasn’t fooling anyone.

“Then we can figure it out together! We don’t have to break up just because you’re confused!”

“I don’t wanna break up because I’m confused, for Christ’s sake!”

“Then why?”

“Because I don’t wanna be the one draggin’ you down!”

It was laughable, the way that Joe’s fears matched up perfectly with David’s. Actually, it really made David laugh. Out loud.

“Why the fuck are you laughing at me?” Joe shoved at him.

“Sorry, it’s just…” David laughed again. “It’s not funny. It's just, you and I have been having the same issues.” He literally laughed himself to tears, and in any other situation it might have been comical. “It’s not funny, I’m sorry, I just can’t believe we’ve been thinking the same thing all this time and never talked about it.”

Joe cracked a sad smile at that. “Yeah, you’re right.”

David calmed down quickly, dropping into one of the lawn chairs. “You know I’ll miss you, right Joe?”

“Yeah, I do. But Web, I still think it’s best if we-”

“Please don’t say it.” He begged, eyes wet and face red. “Please don’t.”

“We gotta break up. It’ll be best, y’know, in the long run.” Joe said, kneeling before David. He gripped his knees, trying his best to keep it together. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all.”

“I thought the country between us would be enough distance without the emotional one added on.” David cried. He pulled Joe into a hug and buried his face into his shoulder, as if the tighter he held on the more he could pretend this wasn’t happening. “Please don’t do this to me.”

Any cool composure Joe had before completely crumbled at that. He made no effort to hide the hurt in his voice. “I have to. You gotta understand, I have to. We have time, you know? We got all the fuckin’ time in the world.”

“I love you, Joe.” David cried into Joe’s shirt.

“You know I love you, too. That’s why I gotta do this.”

David really did understand. He got that spending time apart was best if they wanted to be together in the long run. But it didn’t make it hurt any less.

“Can we still be friends?” David felt pretty stupid for asking it, but it had to be clarified. He couldn’t lose his best friend and his boyfriend in the same day. That would fucking suck.

Joe nodded. “Yeah, Web. Of course.” He pulled away to place his hands on David’s neck. David felt like collapsing.

“I’m sorry we didn’t talk about this before.” Joe said earnestly. David laughed wetly.

“Yeah, well, at least we got to go to prom.”

Joe smiled. “Yeah, I’m glad I got to teach you how to dance before you go to those fancy Harvard balls.”

They stayed there for a moment, not even aware that the whole street had gone near silent at this point. Babe wasn’t crying, he swore it. He just got a little emotional in warm weather. Gene gave him a big hug anyway.

"Love you, dickface." Joe said. David laughed sadly at that. They never were good at the whole 'expressing feelings without being really rude about it' thing. Dickface was their favorite term of endearment. It was one last goodbye.

Joe kissed David in a way David never wanted to be kissed again. It was bittersweet, and worst of all, final.

They were both crying when Joe turned and walked away.

David sat in disbelief for a few somber moments. There was a flurry of movement in the Muck yard, the group seeming to split in two. He ignored it, instead dropping his head in his hands and letting out a shaky breath.

It was almost strange, the long seconds following those final words. It was like everything he built crumbled around his feet, leaving him to wonder just what he was going to do with himself. Throughout the past eighteen years, even before they kissed on the swings when they were seven, Joe had been Web’s constant. No matter how many fights they had, they managed to stick together for all these years. It seemed incredibly unreal that it was all over just like that.

“Web?” Bill was lingering behind the rest of the group who came to save David from his misery. Although, it looked like poor David couldn’t quite be saved.

Buck, Ron, Gene, Dick, and one of Joe’s brothers stood by with caution. Buck took to squatting in front of Web, trying to get him to talk.

“Hey, talk to me, David.” Buck grabbed his hands, prying them gently from his face and holding them steady. “It’s okay. Look at me.” Web kept a steady gaze at the pavement under his feet.

“This can’t be right.” Web said flatly. Suddenly he felt like he was punched in the stomach, like his heart was burned. “It’s not...this doesn’t feel right.”

Buck exchanged looks with Ron. “What do you mean?”

“I...I don’t feel right. I don’t think...I think I just need to sleep.”

Web nodded to himself, rising to walk home. The small group surrounding him parted and watched. Dick looked like he wanted to go help, but Buck grabbed his arm before he could.

“We need to let him sleep it off for now.”

 

Joe was sitting in the living room when his mom found him.

“Joseph Daniel, what has gotten into you? I came out to give David his congratulations present and not only find him gone, but everyone cleaning up the party. Francine told me David was crying in his room, but wouldn’t talk to anyone. What did you do?”

“Why do you assume I did something wrong?”

“Because usually if David’s crying, it’s because you two fought.”

Joe forgot that his mom had known David his whole life and knew him just as well as her own boys. “Ma,” His voice cracked. “Please just…”

“Oh, hon.” She sat next to her oldest on the couch. “I’m sorry, I didn’t even think to ask you, I didn’t notice...are you okay?”

“I broke up with him.”

Jane honestly didn’t believe him at first. Joe and David? Broken up? It was almost laughable. They’d been together almost forever. It almost seemed like just yesterday little Joe was coming in all bright faced, bragging that David Webster had kissed him and they were going to probably get married someday, no big deal.

But broken up? It was almost laughable, inconceivable, had it not been written all over Joe’s tired face.

“Oh, Joe...”

“It was my decision, anyway. I can’t really be upset about it, y’know? It’s my fault.” He said and made to get up before his mom pulled him back down.

“Nu-uh, sit back down, mister. What happened? Why did you break up?”

Joe didn’t want to sit and think about it. He didn’t want to talk about why he had to leave David and watch as his heart broke. He wanted to sleep and he wanted to forget it even happened.

But his mother was relentless and if he didn’t tell her exactly why he ended the only relationship he’d ever known (which sounded pitiful, but Joe longed for it horribly already), she would just follow him around and punish him until he did. He already felt punished enough.

“I had to. If we didn’t break up now, we’d regret not living independently in college. But it sucks. I didn’t think it was going to suck this much.”

Jane couldn’t respond to that, so she just let him cry on her shoulder for as long as he needed.

 

\--

 

 

  


 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> all those pictures are crap quality bc finding solid pics of these guys in their youth (besides donnie wahlberg obviously) is literally impossible. i tried so hard. the fan is web in case that wasnt clear; you know how it is, snapchatting before going to bed and u look gross so you just take a random pic in your room.  
> GILLIAN came up with the dickface thing but i ran with bc duh. more to come eventually.  
> anyway!!! follow me at sharksandsnarks.tumblr.com!!!! yell at me!


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